see all the rays

Something I’ve totally missed the mark in (well, I miss lots of marks actually) is seeing my girls, and Ben, as rays that point me to the Son. For those who know me, they know how much I swoon and get all googly-eyed about Ben all the time. I’m very verbal and physical in my affection for him. For whatever reason, I’m not as swoony with the girls. Maybe it’s because I’m with them all day every day. I definitely love them and love serving them, but I do notice it is harder for me to be super affectionate with them. It might sound like I don’t cuddle at all, and that’s not the case, but I think maybe it’s because I’m way overly (borderline crazy) mushy with Ben, so my outward verbal/physical affectionate probably pale in comparison with the girls. I think my love for them comes out in the daily acts of service, but I do need to work on being more affectionate. Maybe if I were with Ben all day long, I wouldn’t be as mushy, but him going to work definitely does make my heart grow fonder.

A few Sundays ago, our pastor taught a sermon on the goodness of God. It made me do a mental check of all the blessings in my life and how far often my awe-ing stops at the blessing. I only see the rays. What needs to be happening more so are seeing the source of the rays, the Son. I ought to stand in that glorious Son light instead of merely looking at the rays. The warmth comes from the Son and not the rays. The rays are the result of the bright Son. So when I get all mushy with Ben, instead of idolizing him and loving him, that needs to be done in a lens that gives glory to the Son. When feeling all super proud about the girls, that needs to be done in a way that moves my heart from just seeing them, but seeing the Son. Enjoying vacations, kicking my feet up at the end of the day, delighting in a good meal… all those things are about Jesus. The excitement and joy stirred in my heart is made to give back the glory to God and to delight in Him. It is not because He needs my adoration, but because He is due it, and that is what’s best for my soul. To find satisfaction ultimately in God alone is what my heart needs most; that’s when I’m most satisfied.

God is the ultimate gift giver. I love when Ben surprises me, but God gave me something far exceedingly greater than anything Ben (or anyone) could ever give and that gift was through His Son on the cross. It’s through that gift that I can freely bask in the Son light and enjoy all the rays of goodness given through and from Him. This alone should stir my heart to swoon over all good and perfect gifts because they come from a perfect Father, who is good. Ben, the girls (even with how overwhelming mothering can get), vacations, family time, my favorite dish, adventures out, ice cream, pretty shoes, all blessings I get to experience day in and day out… all these are rays that ought to stir my heart to see and savor the Son. This is why Ben and the girls make my heart swoon because they stir my heart to fall in love with my Savior more. They are the rays that point me to the Son.

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6 Responses to “see all the rays”

  1. Cg says:

    Been a long time reader, first time commenting.
    Personally I’m not much of an outward gusher, even for my husband. But I wonder if you don’t gush on your girls as much as you do your husband because of the same reason I don’t gush on my daughter (I love her and I tell her, we do hug and all that): I am still guiding her. I’m not guiding my husband. In essence, his work is done. He guides himself and he has become the person he is partly because of *his* parents. But my daughter (12) is still figuring herself out and in the mean time it’s my job to help her along. In that regard, I believe we aren’t as outwardly affectionate bc our love comes through guidance (plus other ways; food anyone?!). When asked who her favorite person is she always replies “mommy”. Though she has much more fun with daddy, and mommy is more firm. She never waivers, I am her “favorite” person, she doesn’t even try to hide it from her dad. It’s strange at first bc I always felt he was her favorite. Also, if asked “who makes all the rules around here?” She replies “mommy”. It’s hilarious, but I think it speaks to the fact that kids do want guidance, they subconsciously seek rules and limits. I believe it creates an unseen cocoon and this cocoon feels secure. In security, they feel love.

    • Rubyellen says:

      Interesting, I never thought about it that way. I agree, kids need rules and limits, and it’s our job to do that for them, for their good. I love that cocoon symbolism. So true!

  2. Amy says:

    Love this! Thanks for sharing your heart and your life… it has been an encouragement to me on many occasions!

    • Rubyellen says:

      I’m glad! This is one of my most favorite parts about blogging… I love sharing my heart because sometimes we can feel like we’re the only one to feel/think these things, but we aren’t alone in it, and it’s nice to know someone “gets” you. Don’t you think?

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