best buds and fighting

September 23, 2013

they're minethey're minethey're mineThat first picture above demonstrates what goes between the sisters at home. Soul often says, “No!” to Brave and refuses to go with the flow of her older sisters. She’s the one that fights with them most, in fact, she bullies them! But when the two older girls are gone at school, Soul incessantly complains about them not being there and counts down until it’s time to pick them up. Oh that girl! Then once they get home, she starts fighting with them again. HA! It’s really funny and not so funny at the same time.

I was talking with someone over the weekend about what I think is the perfect age gap between kids. I think 4 kids pretty much back to back is insanely crazy, but I’m living proof it’s doable. If you want to maintain a little more sanity, two years seems like a nice little spacing between kids (in my opinion). Though when I look at True and Brave and their friendship, I’m very glad they are so close in age. They fight, but it doesn’t last long, and they love on each other so much. If you’re up for a challenge and would like an adventure, then getting pregnant when you have a 6 month old baby might be for you. Based on True and Brave, the outcome is pretty nice even if I have lost more hairs along the way. Then, just throw two more in there and there’s never a dull moment, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Our house is full of chaos, but also a lot of love!

If you have kids, what are the age gaps of your children?

on me: top, kohls. vest-thing, anthro. jeans, c/o old navy (worn here). shoes, vintage. on true: dress, vintage. socks, target. shoes, vintage. on brave: shirt, thrifted. tie, ben’s. pants, c/o old navy. shoes, thrifted. on soul: dress, vintage. pants, can’t remember. shoes, salt-water sandals. on glow: dress, vintage. shoes, c/o freshly picked.

P.S. I have a friend in the Los Angeles area looking for a roommate and she lives in the echo park area. This is her cute little place (complete with rooftop deck and view of the lake) and if you’re interested, email her here

31 comments on “best buds and fighting”

  • Tanie says:

    I have two daughters, with eleven years between them! Eleven years and three days actually- my first was born November 5th, 2001 and my second on November 8th, 2012. It’s weird having such a big gap- I forgot everything about how babies work in the decade since I last had one!

    • Rubyellen says:

      Oh wow! That’s like starting all over again! Did you keep all your things or did you have to start baby stuff from scratch?

  • Cait says:

    Our first two will end up being two years apart (within weeks!) but it really just happened that way! We don’t plan/wait/try and are open to anything, so I always thought we’d have kids closer together. I hope they are still really close friends, but I’m thankful now for the stage Jacqueline will be in when new baby arrives!

    • Rubyellen says:

      Yes, True and Brave both weren’t planned. Soul was the only we were kind of “trying.” But once we had the first two close in age, we figured might as well keep going!

  • Celeste says:

    My six kids are ages 7, almost-7, 4, 3, 2, almost-1. We actually adopted my oldest (he came to us at four months old, when his “little sister” was just six weeks old!), so they are only three months apart and basically have grown up as twins. They could not be more different but are *so* close–and they are so blessed to have each other. Between my oldest daughter and our next (also a girl), there are 2.5 years–it took us a while to get pregnant. Then the next three came in quick succession: 14 months apart, then 16 months apart, then 13 months apart. All the kids are so close and it is so wonderful to see them play together. My youngest just started walking last month and that seems to be the magic step–the babies always start to be incorporated into the olders’ play when they start walking. It’s like an unspoken rite of passage or something. 🙂

    Anyway, our family spacing seems crazy to others (and even to me sometimes!), and we certainly do have our share of bickering around here (homeschooling means we’re together ALL day EVERY day) . BUT I do hope our family can be a testament to the wonderful gift that is siblings and the special charism of big families. We love our homeschooling life and the kids get along really well ALMOST all the time. 😉 I imagine them 10-20 years from now, all young adults together and having a great time.

    As a side note: we just found out that I’m pregnant with #7! This will be our second longest spacing (20 months), and I’m really curious to see how different it is from my last two, who were almost Irish twins. Every baby is so different, and every one adds SO much joy to the family. We feel incredibly blessed.

    Love following your crew of girls!

  • Latoyia says:

    My two girls are 15 months apart and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They are completely different, best of friends and will never know a life without each other.

  • this is such an informative post for me since we will be “trying” for our first soon. i was actually discussing this same topic with a few girlfriends over the weekend, who all have children close in age. i’ll probably be in that same boat as well because time is a tickin’!!!

  • tinajo says:

    I have two sons and there´s 2,5 years between them – have worked out perfectly in my opinion. Had I done it again, I´d do it the same way. 🙂

  • My kids are about the same spacing as yours- currently they are 7, 5, 3, and 20 months. I love having them so close together, but you’re right- it is crazy sometimes! (Okay, a lot of the time!) Mostly they are all best buds but I find that the two youngest fight the most. The three year old likes to do his own thing, and the 20 month old likes to be in everyone’s business- not the best combo! They’ll get there though, I’m sure.

  • Julia says:

    I love your blog! Read about your creative family in Family Fun Magazine. So happy to be a new reader. Happy Monday!

  • Katie says:

    I also found your lovely site via Family Fun. Your family just exudes spirit 🙂

    My oldest three (my wedding presents) were 2,4,6 when I become their mom. By our 9th wedding anniversary, we had five more. (22 months gap, 25 months gap, 24 months, 23 months gap).

    They are now 18, 16, ^forever 7^, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2.

    I will say with our oldest just having left for college, it’s a strange new world raising little ones and big ones!

  • Nikki says:

    i don’t have any kids yet, but i’m one of four and we are all two years (or less) apart. it is awesome to have my siblings close to me in age. my mama says that having four kids under the age of six was busy and challenging, but now we are all older and she says it’s perfect! your kids have great sibling relationships in the future, i just know it!


    • Rubyellen says:

      That’s what I’m hoping for! When that time comes, I will enjoy watching them interact as adults.

  • Donna says:

    I always liked 2 years but I ended up with 3 years and 2 years between by 3 boys. It took 9 months to get pregnant for the second time and only 1 month for my 3rd try.

  • Merci says:

    I met a waitress who told me her mom had 5 kids and they are all 11 months apart from each other!!!! CRAAAAZYY!!! lol

  • dina says:

    I had my first 9 months to the day of our wedding (oops!) and the next baby 19 months later (perfect timing). Our third arrived on the same day one year after our second and the fourth was born premature so we had four babies in four years, three months. We finally got the hang of controlling births (ha! 🙂 for the last 7 years and were patting ourselves on the back for a well-rounded, grown-up family excited about these years of maturity. Last week we found out our family isn’t finished yet…baby #5 is due Mother’s Day 2013. My husband visits his dr next week. 🙂 I have fallen in love with the closeness of our family and am trusting that God has new mercies and precious blessings ahead of us next year!! p.s. love your blog!

  • Please god bless me with 3 girls… or 4…

  • tina says:

    i also have four kids the exact same spacing apart as yours. it’s nuts. i like to visit your blog because you keep it real. not everyone will admit how hard it really is. i love your “real life” approach. thanks for that.

  • Staci says:

    Mine are 2 years and 5 months apart. I have an almost 3 year old and a four month old. I’m really looking forward to them playing with each other and seeing our new baby’s personality come out.

  • Morgan says:

    That cracks me up because my third (boy) is the exact same way. He’s definitely the fight-instigator. We rotate their seats around in the minivan and no one wants to sit with him. I feel bad, but he kind of brings it on himself. Hopefully, he’ll grow out of it soon. ha! Mine are pretty close, but I think yours are closer- mine are 8, 7, 5, and 3 (18 months apart, 24 months, and 20 months).

  • Laura Herrmann says:

    We have the opposite of you – big gaps between our girls – almost eight (on Dec. 3rd), just turned 4 (on Sept. 17), and brand new (on Sept. 2nd). Four years between each girl is a lot – one friend says we will be parents for a LLLOOOONNNNGGG time. It was certainly not planned by us to be that way, but God has a perfect plan for our family, and I am excited to see how it turns out for his glory. It gets crazy because we are doing 2nd grade, ballet, swim lessons, pre-kindergarten, and newborn things all at the same time. But, it is also wonderful to have gotten to know each girl well before the next comes along. And I’m looking forward to being a mommy for a long time :).

    • Rubyellen says:

      I always tell Ben we will be in empty nest quick because they’re so close in age and will all probably move out and get married all around the same time. Later, I’ll probably be wishing we went for that 5th because I’ll be sad when they are all grown and gone!

  • lea says:

    those speech bubbles made me smile. i have three children , 3 1/2 years between each time..just happened that way. your girls are very cute.

  • Amy says:

    There is eighteen months, almost exactly, between me and my brother. It was perfect, I think. I wish I had a grown up sized dress just like the one True is rocking!

  • anna says:

    i have two boys who are 2y9m apart and the next (and final!) arrival is due any day at a similar gap from no.2. it is really interesting to watch the developing relationship between them – one seems so much older than the other so the ways they play together is limited. the eldest can be quite controlling but is also fiercely protective, so probably a typical brother relationship! the next is a girl, so we’ll see how that changes dynamics over the years!

    ultimately i think every family makes the gaps they have work for them and the characters of their kids 🙂

    • Rubyellen says:

      I agree with you! I love how every family has a differently personality perfectly suited for them. And many congratulations to you too!!!

  • Cara Yeh says:

    My first two are 18 months apart, then 35 months, then 24 months. My 3rd girl also bosses the older two; that picture totally made me laugh! Love it!

  • Brandy Brooks says:

    I have 3 kiddos! 5, 3 & 2.
    My son and middle daughter are 22 months apart and my littlest daughter and middle are only 1 yr and 12 days apart! And I love it! We didn’t plan the girls a year apart and my littlest one reminds me sooo much of your Soul. But amidst the crazy times I sincerely love it and can’t wait to have another!!!

  • Frannie says:

    I only have two…..12 years apart…


  • Teri says:

    my sister and i are eleven months apart and i love it. she’s my life long best friend. i know your little ones will appreciate it as they get older.

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