focus: one week down

January 10, 2014


lifelifeI thought I’d do weekly reflections of sorts on Fridays here. If you’d love to join in and share on your own space and leave a link here, I’d love to check it out. We all can definitely learn and encourage one another!

I talked about how my word for the year was focus (read here) and I think it started off with a rocky, but good start. Some things I feel went well is that I started leaving the iPad upstairs in my room during breakfast and lunch times. This has been so much better for focusing on the girls and the task at hand. I think before, while they ate, it would be so easy to check up on things online, but you know you get online and then one click leads to another, then to another, and you totally get sidetracked. That wasn’t smart mothering. Leaving the distraction upstairs really allowed me to be present with them. Another thing that went well was that I just spent some time being silly with them, from wearing fuzzy knee high socks and doing a silly dance to doing crazy dances together. I know it sounds like simple things that many you are probably already doing, but I wanted to really focus on making these moments for them. It’s a work in progress and some weeks I will be better at mothering than others, but I never want to stop working on it. Also, I actually spent time praying and meditating on God’s word; that’s probably the best thing I did for myself and the girls in a long time!

Some things that didn’t go well… I wasn’t too patient with some parts of math. I forget these concepts are completely new to the girls and expect them to get it at first try. Also, I had a couple off days because I was just feeling kind of cloudy. This cloudy feeling was especially strong at night. One night, Ben asked if I was feeling okay. Then, I just suddenly burst into tears, and we ended up having a lot to talk about that night. Rule number one ladies (and gents, if any gents read this)… don’t keep a purchase hidden from your spouse for a couple months, it will eat you up inside. Sounds silly, but for me, it’s true. He was so patient to just cuddle me and pray for me (and not get too mad). He was like, “Don’t forget your word is focus.” It was so sweet. After that night and just talking it out with him, I felt a load lifted and felt so much better. The truth will set you free… no joke.

How have you been doing with your word/resolution for the year thus far? I think weekly reflections on it will help me focus and keep me on track.

8 comments on “focus: one week down”

  • savannah says:

    thank you for your honesty. After I had posted my feeling on my word being focus.I felt that another word was more. More of my kids,more for my kids, more for my husband, more of God.. and less of me.. I think the two tie into each other and my Facebook fast has really helped me focus on them. I ordered this book hands free mama. After I read this post about slowing down to enjoy your babies because they are growing and it was titled they can’t kiss a moving target.. so true as I look at my daughter who changed me completely my first almost become 8 .. where has time gone .I know I have been too busy. I am learning to respond in a More loving way when pressure is on and the topic is tough with my spouse and this weak my soft response did bring him to appologize. Its a gift
    I hope next week is wonderful for you and we are trying your Friday night idea today thanks so much

  • Lita says:

    Focus is definitely my keyword for 2014. Last year I tried so hard to do many different things I lost focus on my main goals. I am a single mom who is trying to start a business from home so I could have more time to spend with my daughter (she is 4 y.o). This year, I will be focusing 100% on trying to get my small business off the ground. Then, quit my day job (I don’t hate it; it’s simply just a job for me). I am determined this year is THE year 🙂

  • Angela says:

    As with the other commentator, I really appreciate your honesty even about not being truthful about the purchase. I have been there too, where something small or large I have kept back and when asked if everything is ok, I break down. The truth and living in it really does set your soul free. Nothing to hide. we have dates after my little one goes to bed at 8 and its so nice to catch up, just us. I began reading your blog the year I got married and I remember being so inspired by you and your love for your husband. I know it takes work ( we are 6 years into it :)) and its not always pretty or effortless but thank you for sharing your love for your husband. It really helped me those first few years when things weren’t always easy going, it helped snap me out of my complacency. Thank you!

    • rubyellen says:

      Oh it’s not effortless for us too! Marriage takes work and when you stop working, that’s when it will fall apart. We should always fight the complacency that often plagues us.

      Thank you for following along and your encouragement. After a post like this, I get nervous I say too much, but it’s really just what’s in my heart and I want to be as real as possible in this space. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “prettiness” of blogs and then feel like all these internet folk have the ideal life that you don’t seem to have. I get caught up in it too. I love blogs for the prettiness, but the blogs I love most are those filled with honesty and heart.

      And yes, omg! I feel so much better unloading my secret purchase onto my husband. We always ask each other if a purchase is okay, so it was a big thing for me not to tell him this one.

  • Rosalind says:

    ah I hear you! I try not to turn my laptop on till lunchtime (especially on a school morning)… but there is always the phone – self control Rosalind. I always think about what I am teaching them… sigh. I was just reminded by Anya this morning that I haven’t been much fun today – always focused on tasks… it was a good reminder to pause and be present with both of the kids. We still have 3 weeks of school holidays here! FEELS sooooo long sometimes. Have you read Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst? A book I am planning on reading again this year! It was very encouraging. x

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