there are crumbs on my floor

March 26, 2015

there are crumbs on my floorthere are crumbs on my floorThere are crumbs on my floor. Almost always. We do try to sweep up under the breakfast table daily (it’s on their chore chart), but it doesn’t always happen. If I cropped out the floor, you wouldn’t see the crumbs. The verse Proverbs 31:30 comes to mind, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Which led me to think of it like this, “Instagram is deceptive, and blogs are fleeting…” I enjoy capturing and sharing a pretty picture, but don’t forget there’s always real life behind the lens, lots of things you don’t see.

For me, behind my lens this week has been a lot of crazy. There’s not a particular project or anything going on, but I think it’s a combination of me PMS-ing and Ben working three late nights in a row (kudos to you who have to do some sort of single parenting gig). Basically, I’m the crazy one. I feel like the Israelites in the book of Judges, continually messing up, asking forgiveness, things are going well, and then bam, I’m deep into loving myself a whole lot (which isn’t a good thing). Lots of sinning on my part, and having to ask the girls and God for forgiveness. Thankfully, no f-bombs have been dropped (at least not that I remember) when recounting my day back to Ben, but I sure was barking out orders like a military sergeant to the girls all day long. Then, when I’m thinking clearly, I’m like, “Ruby! Come on, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Duh! You know that!” Oh, it’s such a vicious cycle within my heart. I’m totally not a Christian because I’m naturally good, I’m a Christian because I just plain suck and I know I need Jesus. I’m so thankful that it’s about grace, and not what I’ve done because if that were the case, like I said here, I’d totally be doomed.

There was a sweet moment that came from this #momlife I’m living. It was after dinner Tuesday night, the girls were still working on math, and I was just exhausted. I was sitting on the sofa, singing along with some worship music, and the girls came down to ask me a math question. I said, “Come on, let’s sing together.” This doesn’t happen often (more like never), but there we were, my girls and I were singing to Jesus together. I had my eyes closed, but I could hear Brave clearly (she sings loud like me), and it was just such a special moment. I need to make sure moments like that happen more often, so I guess if it takes us having to go through chaotic days to get there, so be it. I will gladly take the chaos and the sweet, it’s only by God’s grace and for his glory.


25 comments on “there are crumbs on my floor”

  • Catherine says:

    Well said, Mama! I needed these words today. Thank you.

  • iralee poore says:

    you’re honesty, you’re public confessions of little failures, and you’re doses of reality are just ONE of the MANY MANY things that makes me love you!!! you are beautiful and you have an important job that you do well! i can always relate to these posts and i love them bc you are exactly right- pictures can be very deceiving!

    • Rubyellen says:

      Yup! I sometimes feel bad just throwing up a pretty picture here or on ig. That’s why I’m so thankful that I can share the messy parts of my heart too. I love taking and sharing pretty pictures, but that doesn’t accurately portray who I am. I’m a messy person with lots of struggles, and I hope to encourage others with that part of me too!

  • Dinah says:

    Have you ever thought about working outside the home, a part-time (or apart-time) job perhaps? I, too, am a mom of four AND I work full-time as a nurse. I totally look forward to my days off even though they are chaotic and full of chores and running around constantly. I get frustrated easily when my kids don’t listen, the house is a complete mess and list of things to do is never ending. I definitely have my cranky moments especially when I know my days off are coming to an end and feel like I barely accomplished anything on my time off. However working outside definitely makes me appreciate my home time more. Maybe a few hours a week doing something other than motherhood/parenting can help you gain perspective and spare you from going “crazy”.

    • Rubyellen says:

      I have and do actually. When I do craft styling on the side, I do leave the house and either Ben is home (or a babysitter), so I appreciate those moments working outside. It only happens about once a month, but it is a nice break. I joke with Ben that one year, he’ll stay home and I’ll go to work. LOL. When I’m in the midst of chaos, I want to throw in the towel and go to work, but when I’m thinking clearly, I’m glad it’s this way (chaos and all). If I were at work everyday, I’d probably be wishing I was home, so it’s always a battle of discontentment no matter where I’d be. For now, this is our decision and what’s best, so even when I’m feeling crazy, I know for our goal this is what I want. Ben is so good in making sure I get “me” time or helping in some way to bring me some relief, so I’m thankful for that too.

  • oni says:

    thanks for the words of inspiration today. Its a reminder to slow down . My husband has been out of town for TWO WEEKS while on tour and its been hard with a sick one year old and two crazy dogs. It feels nice to read about your experiance and how you talk yourself down!



    • Rubyellen says:

      Oh Oni! My heart goes out to you! That’s so tough… I just prayed God would continually uphold and strengthen you until reinforcements return!

  • MK says:

    Beautiful entry!! He makes beauty from the ashes!

  • Cait says:

    Thank you for this. I had one of those horrible mommy feeling days (because of the worst attitude/tantrum filled morning ever from my three year old…but it was still my response!!) and looking to Jesus is what I need!

  • teresa says:

    thanks for this. times can be tough. thanks for being real. i am a tired mommy of a nine month old that hasn’t ever slept through the night. needed this reminder.

    • Rubyellen says:

      Hang in there Teresa! Sleep will return, I promise. I remember those zombie like days, they are definitely sooooo tough!

  • Carli says:

    Wow! What a wonderful post. This week I’ve been dealing with and learning how to be patient while having 21 month old boy who will not sit on the potty but has diarrhea. (I’m also 7 months pregnant.) I should really use these MANY diaper changes to pray and sing and teach my son about Jesus. The part about us sucking? So true. Love it Ruby, thanks for being real and vulnerable!

  • nikki says:

    love this. you are always so real and honest

    xx nikki

  • Serena says:

    love this…I have crumbs on my floor too! 😉

  • Cat says:

    I also have 4 young kids. I bought a robot vacuum cleaner. His name is Rex. I love Rex. It was the best investment I’ve made!

    • Rubyellen says:

      I will need to look that up! Thank you for the tip. Last year, we budgeted for someone to come once a month to help with the deep cleaning (mainly bathrooms, dusting, and floors). That has helped tremendously! We are so busy, I don’t know when I would have done it!

      • Cat says:

        I think that’s great! When I had my fourth baby my mother laws gift to us was a cleaner for that busy baby period. Bliss!

  • Ashton Copeland says:

    What a sweet moment. Thank you for being so honest and brave on your blog! I come home from work (teacher) every day completely drained of my patience. This post was a great reminder for me!

    • Rubyellen says:

      Thank you for this encouragement Ashton. I honestly get nervous to publish these types of posts, but I think, or at least hope, I’m not the only one that feels this way. And if my failures can help encourage others and the grace I’ve experienced through it, it’s all worth it.

  • Brooke Knipp says:

    The crumbs, oh, the crumbs. I sweep our kitchen multiple times everyday, but the crumbs and who-knows-what just seem to appear out of thin air as soon as I finish sweeping. I love the ‘picture’ of you and your girls singing together. My girls sing ALL.THE.TIME. but I don’t really join in much. Now I’m thinking I’ll do that tomorrow 🙂

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