saturday date (with soul)

March 28, 2011

Friday night the big girls slept over at grammy’s and grumpy’s, so Soulie experienced being an only child for a bit. One of my closest friends is finally getting hitched, so Saturday we headed out to her engagement party, after which, we made a date of it by hanging out at the beach and doing some other fun things together (with Soulie in tow).
The baby belly looks huge there, but I think that picture is funnily deceiving. Though, it is getting larger daily no doubt.
It was nice to go out on a sort of date with my Benny. We haven’t gone an official date in a few months, so this was nice. Soulie was with us because my parents took the big girls to watch a musical, so Soulie couldn’t go with them, but let me tell you… one kid is so much easier than three out and about!
I know one is hard. I don’t knock that fact to some of you who are still in the one kid phase, but boy oh boy, life gets much more interesting with two, then three, and ask me about four in about six months! God is good in that he prepares you slowly with each time you add to your brood, but if you have twins and triplets the first time around. Well my friend, you are just in a whole other ball game! God definitely knows you could handle a whole lot then!!!
Back to our date. It was sweet, simple, and kind of spontaneous all rolled into one. We used to go on date nights weekly, but we would have to drive to my parents (30 minutes away) and leave the girls, pick them up, then drive back home. Sometimes that is kind of a hassle.
I think one thing that keeps us sane together is the fact they all go to bed pretty early, so that gives me and Ben quiet time, even though we don’t go on “dates”, we don’t feel like we are missing out on too much. Don’t get me wrong though, I think going on dates are still very important. That’s why yesterday was so very special because we just got to walk arm in arm, which is easier to do with one kid, and just kind of laugh and giggle at silly husband and wife jokes together.
Ben mentioned how he listened to part of this message, which was sent to us by our Pastor, and it really resonated with him. I just listened to it and I must say, it resonated with me too. Good practical truths. Marriage is definitely an investment where both parties need to be willing to throw in their all, but God is really the one that makes the difference. With God’s help, I like investing in my marriage with Ben.
So tell me, are you married? If so, for how long? If not, any engagement/wedding coming soon or are you still patiently waiting? Marriages are by no means easy and I am sure we could all learn a bit of wisdom from one another no matter how many years you have under your belt!

43 comments on “saturday date (with soul)”

  • Katyha says:

    married for 17 years (18 in December)…and 4 kids. And it is true, when you have one it is hard , then along comes two and you wonder how will I manage, when you are up to 4 you just go with it. The only bit of wisdom I can impart is always make time for each other and never ever take the other person for granted, make the effort to talk daily about your day but also about important things to you as a couple.

    You are in for a lovely ride with 4…enjoy! and remember to smile often and not worry too much the little things.

  • patiently waiting for true love is quite beautiful! I want God's best!

  • Shippedtosea says:

    Married for just 9 months! I agree there is lots to learn and we are just getting started.

  • mandiegirl says:

    Almost 5 years! Not easy, but it's so beautiful if you give yourself to your spouse.

  • Mrsink says:

    I loved this post! You have such a sweet way of writing and I love your views on marriage and family. My husband and I have been married 5 years at the end of this month and we have two children (3 and 1/2 and 2) and we're a lot like you guys in that we don't go out on dates much, but since the boys go to bed early, we get time together then. Thanks for posting! Its such a good reminder to invest in your marriage.

  • Morgan says:

    Hi Rubyellen, Morgan here (from the etsy shop Mama Loves Papa). I LOVE Mark Driscoll. Have you listened to his marriage series? I can't remember what it's called right now (I'm listening to the link you posted, so it's too much to think about at once). But, my husband and I really loved it. Do you go to an Acts 29 church?

    So glad you got a little one-on-one-one time with Ben and Soul. Those pictures are adorable! It is so crazy how different (and easier) it feels with just one baby when one baby seemed so hard when I only had one.

  • Morgan says:

    Oh, and my husband Eric and I will celebrate out 8th anniversary in a few months! πŸ™‚

  • Sarah says:

    My husband and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary this year! We have a one year old and two dogs! πŸ™‚

  • Amy says:

    My hubby and I will be married for 10 years in August. It has definately been work, but so worth it. I think that laughing together alot and having really good communication, and supporting each other are some of the things that have made our marriage so good.
    We do have rough patches like everyone, but I feel so blessed to be married to my best friend, and i feel like we could get through anything together.

    Those pictures of Soul are adorable!

  • RachelDenbow says:

    Oh, I love the one of Soul in between you two with her eyes looking sideways! FRAME IT!!

    So glad you guys got to take it slow and enjoy Soul by herself. I'm sure the older girls enjoyed having your parent's treat them, too!

  • Misha Lulu says:

    this photos are the sweetest! I can't believe how big Soul is !
    Very romantic! and Yes your belly is getting bigger!
    soooooo cute!

  • RACHAEL says:

    holy moly, your little girl is so gorgeous πŸ™‚ i wanna have kids that good looking one day!

  • Mama Liz says:

    I loved reading this post. I have been with my husband for 9 years and married for 4. We have 2 wee ones… 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. Getting out and finding alone time is hard but we manage. Its not easy and it's great that you point it out. My husband works long hours (he's a Chef) and for 5-6 days a week I feel like a single married mom. But we both know its important to connect everyday, even just a kiss or a squeeze of the hand, as if he reassures me that, though unconventional, we are doing everything right. We are doing it our way and together. Blessed is what I feel and thanks again for reminding me πŸ™‚

  • Victoria says:

    I've been with my husband as a couple for 16 years next month, then later in the year we'll celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary, which does sound a long time. Advice, my gosh, as much as an outsider knows anything about anyone elses relationship, I'd say you guys are doing pretty good. You look happy together, the girls are gorgeous and happy too and I put a lot of measure in that very simple fact.

    I am in my early 40's now and even with having been together this long I'm still learning, it does evolve constantly doesn't it. Love, respect and friendship stay constant but gosh they do change as children come along and the other challenges that life brings the more “adult” we supposedly get.

    We don't have a religious faith like you do, but clearly that connection means a lot to both of you and in that form it's a wonderful thing.

    I think you're doing pretty good missy, all your family are gorgeous (I love your dancey sisters blog too!) you all love each other, are optimistic and happy – we have a lot to admire in you all!

  • Anastasia says:

    We got married in August of last year and we are having a blast! Love makes it all so much easier! Love and willingnes to give all of ME up for US!
    Your baby is beautiful! All three of them are! Can't wait to see the fourth!

  • Jane says:

    I love that photo of the 3 of you.. Soul is like “what's goin on?!??”. I don't comment on your blog often (I do read regularly though!), but just wanted to stop by and say that you honestly have the most gorgeous family. Can't wait to 'meet' the new little one soon! xx

  • Lindsay says:

    We'll have been married for 4 years in May and our wee man turns 1 next month!
    Sacrifice and being unselfish have been the hardest parts of marriage…it's scary what you learn about yourself when you share your entire life with someone! But having a best friend who I can trust completely and who loves and cares for me is such an amazing thing!
    Love your photos!

  • not married and no babies as of yet. your photos and your beautiful family are an inspiration. i can just see how happy your girls are and just how lucky you are to have them. i'm one of three girls and i love having sisters! soul is just perfect in those photos, i hate to choose a favourite but she is just divine and her individual character really shines through. you are truly blessed! xo

  • Lyndall says:

    We're not married (and probably never will be), but have been together almost ten years. I'm so excited to see what adventures will be in the future for us, especially as we make plans to build our careers and add a third member to the family… :3

    I love this post!

  • evie dear says:

    I've been married eight years, and I have one little girl. I love being married & having a family too πŸ™‚

  • Abby says:

    Hi Rubyellen, Soul is so precious and it looks like you had a great date. I appreciate that you write about running your marriage- it is sometimes hard work- and I've only been married 9 months! It is an investment but it's awesome (after years of dating) to be investing in a relationship that will last a lifetime. Thanks for posting the video, I'm going to watch it later.

  • Danielle Roy says:

    A new fan of yours! You should read my post from yesterday- along the same sentiments as yours exactly πŸ˜‰
    Have a great week!

  • BethAnn says:

    She is SUCH a dream! Thank you for sharing. xo

  • AshleyRae says:

    I love reading about how you balance motherhood & your love life with your husband :)I am patiently waiting. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now- but we've been friends for closer to 4-5 years now. He has a 3 year old (long story short, his wife passed away just after giving birth) and he's been raising her on his own- and i like to think that in the last year i've helped a bit. I'd love to permanently be part of his family, it's a beautiful thing.

    thanks for sharing!

  • Ari says:

    I love me some Mark Driscoll! That was a great blurb to watch to start off my day. We are about to move across the country this weekend, so I can feel my patience running low. It will be so important for me to love, respect and be patient with my man this week! Thank you for sharing!

  • Miss C says:

    been with my SO for 12 years this year… i don't think we'll get married… we've got bigger issues than marriage right now so who knows… but it was easy going from 1 to 2 because my daughter was 6 when he was born ( i don't do 2 babies in diapers) and in school during the day and she pretty much does her own thing when she comes home from school (she's been so used to playing on her own she wasn't even phased when her brother came along).

  • jozen says:

    soul is just gorgeous!

    been with my hubs for 15 years, been married for 7 and we have been blessed with 2 beautiful little girls.

  • elise says:

    what a beautiful day together!
    we will be married 7 years this summer- 3 kids in that time, 4,2, & brand new. Praise the Lord for working in our marriage more each year and growing us as couple and family:O) so blessed.

  • elise says:

    (and early bedtimes are how we get some relaxed time together too!)

  • sha says:

    hi, i'm a new reader to your blog via a link from A Beautiful Mess….and your blog is sooooo charming. I've viewed your blog a few times and just haven't had the time to leave a comment…until now.

    my husband and I are Christian and God is definitely the center of our relationship…without Him and Godly guidance we would be at eachother's throats!

    we've been married for 3 years and blessed with 2 girls (2yrs and 6months). the first year was difficult because I never knew the meaning and concept of “submission” and the importance of this from the wife. God's word has taught me that a marriage mirrors our own relationship with Christ: LOVE, RESPECT AND SUBMISSION.

    I pray that God continues to be the center of your marriage. God Bless!

    My blog


  • Mary Lou says:

    God has blessed you with a beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your faith and your blessings. I was happy to see the Mark Driscoll link. I have the joy of attending Mars Hill Church with my hubby. We will celebrate our 30th anniversary this year. We are looking forward to Pastor Mark's book on marriage coming out early 2012. He wrote it with his wife, Grace. Even after 30 years we still have room for growth!

  • My hubby and I have been married for 5 1/2 years and have two boys (baby 3 is due in the end of September). Our road together has certainly never been easy but I know that it is with the grace & love God alone has given that we are able to call ourselves blessed. We rarely go on dates, for about the same reasons as you, sitters 30 minutes away. I'm always surprised when we just have our youngest and it still feels like a date. I suppose it is all relative to our “new normal” which of course changes by the minute, day, month and year. I've never posted before but I just love reading your words. Thank you for your transparency!

  • Susanna says:

    we'll celebrate 10 yrs. of marriage together this August! We have 4 precious kiddos with number 5 on the way πŸ™‚ I am truly blessed to be married to an amazing guy, but yes, like everyone else, we have to make an effort at our relationship…keeping up with those date nights help too!! but i like what yousaid…with God's help i WANT to invest in my marriage!

  • Savannah says:

    Getting married August 6th! Can't wait!

  • Melissa Jade says:

    been married for 3 years! It sure is tough though! I love my husband a great deal, but we do have some troubles. At times I wish we had a god like figure to lean on- but he is an atheist and I have simply never felt a god-like presence. I would love to have something higher to lean on- But just don't feel anything there =/

  • Melissa says:

    i was 16, he was 18 when we met, got married 4 yrs later. we were young, but he is still my best friend. we have been married 14 yrs and now have 2 dogs and 2 sweet babies. marriage isn't always easy, but knowing that God brought us together and that we have Him to trust in definitely helps. love hearing about you guys. thanks

  • PJ Tibayan says:

    So this is why people are visiting my blog… Thanks for the post. You guys are an encouragement to Frances and I in so many ways and we're blessed to be partnered with you for the gospel.

  • cottage girl says:

    Love Mark Driscoll! I listen to his podcasts all the time. I'm patiently waiting. Or learning how to wait patiently. That patience this isn't so easy sometimes…

  • Tanya M says:

    I've been married for almost 9 years, and it makes me feel old. But I got married really young, and I'm so happy we have worked the kinks out and our marriage is so strong right now. And it was with God's help. Otherwise, I think we would still be struggling with our usual hangups.

  • I have been married 2 and a half months (and loving it!). The Lord has been so good to teach us lessons about investing and sacrificing for each other.

    Its so encouraged to hear of your love!

  • lazergumster says:

    thank you for a nice blog! i found it recently, and follow you since then. im at 26 week of pregnancy (my first), and going to married at 14 may. say hello to your wonderful girls, you are very inspire me!

  • jadie says:

    love mark driscoll! i definitely recommend his marriage series and the peasant princess series. and the women as mothers/homebuilders/etc. SUCH good stuff! (you know, if you have HOURS to spare- ha!)
    anyway, we've been together for almost 8 years, married for almost 2, and we're expecting our first baby girl, um, a week ago!
    love that second photo of soul- she looks like she's dancing! your family is so precious.

  • Catherine says:

    A-dorable Soul! I think it was so lovely she got to experience her two parents to herself, something subsequent siblings rarely experience.

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