and the crazy woman came out again

May 9, 2013

sunsetYesterday was one of those days. The crazy woman in me came out again. The day went mostly well, we were done with homeschooling by lunch time, then the girls spent the afternoon playing and I was cleaning. We were all excited because we were going to hang out with church family that night and have a bonfire (with s’mores of course!). Well then by 4:30 our plans (well, the ones I had in my mind) started unravelling. I had planned to leave at 4:45 pm, so I told them to get dress at 4:30 (yeah, we were still in our pajamas at that point), well, 15 minutes later they still weren’t dressed, and another 15 minutes passed and they still weren’t done (and just playing), so now I’m kinda frustrated at this point and was yelling like a mad woman that we weren’t going anymore. Ugh! I was so frustrated with myself! Brave was crying because she really wanted to see her friends and I was feeling bad because maybe I was too drastic about it. But I had already told them we weren’t going and as much as I wanted to just take them because they were so excited, I knew I had to stick with what I said.

Eventually, the girls calmed down and we went about our evening like normal (we didn’t go), but man I was feeling crummy for reacting so badly. Ben was working late so it had been an especially long day for me, but even still, it was no excuse and I was so mad at myself for being such a crazy mama. It definitely put me in no mood to blog because what was I was going to do? Come to this place and be all sunshines and rainbows. Yeah right! I was definitely not feeling any sunshines and rainbows. At the end of the day, I just wanted to crawl under a shell and hide forever. I was exhausted.

Thankfully, a new day came this morning and I had a talk with my girls about how I behaved badly and I was able to ask for their forgiveness. We all talked about good and bad choices, Christ and forgiveness, then we prayed together. I’m thankful for their forgiving spirits and their continuous showering of affection towards their sometimes crazy mama. And if you feel like a crazy mama from time to time, I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone! As difficult as these crazy and overwhelming moments are, it’s all part of the parenting package and as my mom tried to remind me today, “Soak this time in, it goes fast.” So through all the frustrating and happy chaos, I’ll keep trying to do just that.

27 comments on “and the crazy woman came out again”

  • jane says:

    i’m crazy at least three days out of the week. 😉 love you and love your girls!

    beach play date soon?

  • tinajo says:

    Children are so amazing with their forgiveness. 🙂

  • Jessica G. says:

    I’m proud of you for sticking with your threat. That’s the hard thing about threats sometimes, the follow through. I’ve had to end up not doing (or even leaving) things that I really wanted to do because of me saying that to my kids. And way to be a great mommy by talking to your kids and praying about the whole situation.

  • Weiyan says:

    hi ruby:) i’ve been a silent reader for the longest time but i just wanted to say that this entry really encouraged me, and it was something that i really needed to hear/read this season. thank you, and i think you have a beautiful family. much love! <3

  • Maria Cañal says:

    I really adore this post. First for being so brave to tell us, and explained in a way that we all relate to it. I also have crazy mum moments, and I feel sooo bad. Then I tell my son to forgive me but still makes me feel so bad. On the other hand, I think that is life and having bad moments is part of it. And it will be part of my son’s life too. So… it is good if he starts seeing his mum… ;-)…

    I agree with all that you say, I thanki you agein for being so brave to tell us. I very much appreciate it.
    (forgive my english)!

  • Saz says:

    So proud that you stuck to your guns though! That’s the way kids learn best that you mean what you say. My father would never make empty threats, he would always follow through with it like you did and it worked. They’ll know you mean business next time. ‘Can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs’

  • Agnes says:

    Have you read any Haim Ginott? It is so helpful.

  • Grace says:

    Hey, I too don’t ever comment. I love watching your community of bloggers from a safe distance. It is totally weird, to me, to know the outfits y’all wear day to day, know the names of your pets, whats growing in your gardens, sometimes envy your jobs or decorating skills, as well as imagine for moments that you guys don’t argue or get scrapes on your knees when you fall. I guess I’d like to just say it though, even if I am gonna just be one of a few hundred that leave a comment saying the same thing: Thankyou for 1) attempting to be transparent. Repentance can be a hard thing to wear on the outside, in front of people, but I know I am so encouraged to be more honest about my sin when I see other people experiencing grace and forgiveness. 2) Thanks for sharing your process of cooling off and apologizing. One of the things I want most of all is, my kids to see me recognizing my wrongs and apologizing humbly. I can only hope it gives them the courage to admit their wrongdoings, fighting off a swelling pride.

  • We’ve all been there…threatened things that hurt us as much as our kids. Hugs to you.

  • Many parents overlook their mistakes. I love that you talked with your littles after! Especially with the message.

    xo Lisa
    Making Life’s Lemons

  • Crystal says:

    Oh mama, haven’t we all been there? It takes a brave woman to confess her “craziness” to her readers and an even braver woman to admit she’s in the wrong and ask forgiveness.

    For what it’s worth, I think your consequence for their behavior (not getting to go to the bonfire) was spot on. I’m trying to teach my 4 year old about choices and consequences too.

    Thanks for this post and letting us mamas know we aren’t alone.

  • I don’t have any kids yet, but I did have a mom who was “crazy” about 90% of the time. She’s since gotten help and things are a lot better BUT my childhood had moments of crazy every single day. And let me tell you, from a kid’s perspective, hearing your parent apologize for something they did that hurt you is an amazing feeling. It’s validating to your feelings and helps you understand that even your mama can make mistakes (and even your mama can apologize). So kudos for understanding what happened and apologizing 🙂

  • Christine says:

    oh boy can I relate to this (and I only have two kids) with four I’d be crazy mom everyday I think.

  • pam says:

    as moms of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4, i think we’ve all had days like this. i know i do esp. with the 2 boys. but i take it as a learning experience for me and remind myself that i’m the adult and that they’re just kids. i always apologize and remind them that i really do love them and then it’s a new day to do a better job.

  • Redcordelia says:

    Well, they do need to learn to get dressed when asked. If they won’t get dressed, how can they go out? How can you teach them that without consequences?

  • amyD says:

    I really needed to hear this tonight. I have spent most of my day feeling so alone in this, like I’m the only one that thinks this parenting thing is difficult. Thank you SO much for sharing! 🙂

  • Frédérique says:

    I can completely relate and think that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself! Sticking with what you say is the best gift you can give them! Not so many parents seem to believe in it but I still think that this is key to raise happy and stress free children. Could it be that it is a teacher thing:)? And of course you feel bad for yelling, I always do to, but it is also good that they know we make mistakes too:) xo

  • Rachel says:

    I love your blog so much! Thank you for your honest posts- my husband and I don’t have kids yet but I still learn so much from these posts and love to read them!!

  • Lynsey says:

    On a day when I am also feeling guilt for not being 100% best mom ever, you made me feel so human and normal. Thank you!

  • Halima says:

    Don’t beat up yourself too much about this. It happens everyone, and your girls will forget all about it sooner than you expect. From what i can see, you’re a terrific mum! And to have a day here and there when you’re not as you wish you were – it’s all normal! What is amazing, and what shows how great mum you are, is that you could ask your girls for forgiveness!!! THAT is something they will remember, and it will, Godwilling, have such a wonderful impact on them and their lives. Sadly, it happens so rarely that adults admit their mistakes to children, but i think it’s so important. Talk about practical teaching. We want our children to be able to apologize and to ask for forgiveness, and the best way to teach them that, and how to do so, is by doing it yourself. So… really… Am so proud of you really! And you should be too!

  • Andria says:

    I think I’ve found the problem….CLEANING! Don’t these things happen when you are cleaning? You need to stop cleaning.

    Just kidding….I lose my marbles sometimes too when we are trying to get somewhere and it seems like I’m carrying ALL the weight of trying to get everybody there. Sometimes it’s such an effort just to get everyone in the car, it doesn’t feel worth it!

    Love your honesty. You’re obviously a great mom, and you’re right, there’s always another day to start over. Thank God!

  • I adore how honest you are here! And I really respect how you stuck to your word, even it was rash. There are so few parents who do that these days so I admire and look up to you for that. I am also inspired by your willingness to apologize to your girls. That shows so much humility and I know they are learning so much from you, even if it’s through the mistakes.

    Bigs hugs to you and I hope you had an amazing day today with your sweet family.

  • Maggie says:

    Oh my gosh, thank you for posting this. I’m so glad to hear that I’m not the only person who turns into a crazy woman sometimes. I love being a mom . .. but some moments are really, really trying. Hang in there. You’re a great mom. This post also inspired me to be more open in my writing . . . definitely connected to what you wrote. Thank you!!!

  • Jess says:

    It’s so hard to find real moms in such a cyber world. It is so easy to paint a pretty picture with the best shots off your camera and a paragraph of words, but it’s nice to know that we all struggle with the same things. Not only do we struggle with it, but we feel bad about it. I love that you are willing to admit it wasn’t okay, and not blame it on everything else. You are awesome.

  • mycakies says:

    Thank you everyone! I want this to be a place where I can encourage others. I don’t have all the answers and am far (very far) from being a model mother, but if I can help encourage someone with my story, then I’m happy to do so. I fail so often and need so much grace and forgiveness all the time.

  • Jozen says:

    Lol, same thing happened to me a few nights ago. A trip to the ice cream store was cancelled but I felt so guilty after I took them later in their pj’s!

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