It’s the new year. Wow! That was fast. 2012 was quite good and while trials were experienced, we’re thankful and looking forward to see what will come of the new year and how God will grow us even more. The year for us has already started quite busy as we (Ben) has undertaken the task of planting a backyard orchard culture (more to come on that later) in our yard and I have been working on a few things myself. The big girls got to spend a few days with their Auntie Linda and Uncle John while Ben and I took care of the babies and some other things. We’re all back together now and we’re ready to get back into our routine with school and work tomorrow.

Some learned, links, and thoughts for the new year…

Serve my girls with even more gladness this year. I think I easily get frustrated that I lose the serving with gladness part much too quickly. I am here to serve them, not the other way around, so it’s something I need to improve on.

This post about God will be doing 10,000 things in your life, though you may only be aware of 3.

Love Allison’s post on contentment.

I want to work on memorizing more scripture like this lady. Scripture will help me fight the constant battle within my heart to love God more above all else.

I’m thankful for hobbies such as crafting and blogging. It’s an outlet that I really enjoy and I’m thankful for all the opportunities that have come from it. And really, much of the thanks are to you my readers. Thank you for taking notice and sharing what you like here.

Don’t let useless things rob you of your joy. Stop reading the blog that annoys you (I know it’s hard as I am totally guilty of this! And if you don’t care for this space, don’t waste your time here, please don’t.), don’t sweat the small stuff , and whatever the circumstance, find the fun and engage it.

I had a few other things I wanted to link to, but now I can’t remember. Oh well. I have some new ideas for this space along with continuing along with other things I have already been doing. If you have any suggestions of what you would like to see here, things I could do better, or any other blog thoughts in general, please share.

I’m quite excited about this new year. Last year was full of surprises and I’m sure this new year will be much of the same. Life is just like that though, there are always surprises, good and bad. We’re just six days in, but hello 2013, let’s do this!

Hi friends! I’ve missed this space, but I think it was a good and necessary silence that was right for me and my heart.  I just wanted to say hello and pop back in real quick before the calendar changes to 2013. I will be back to my regular posting afterwards and I have lots to recap on. Ben’s been home, which totally helps my sanity , and the girls have been having a blast with their Christmas surprises.

It’s nice and cold here in Southern California and I am loving every bit of it. I even finally finished crocheting a scarf I started last winter, it never got cold enough last year to finish it, but with the cold we are currently experiencing here (well, it’s cold for us!), I figured it was the perfect time to add those last couple lines in.

Happy New Years Friends!!!

Everyone is in shock over the horrific killings that happened in Connecticut. Those were kids, just like the 4 little ones I have in my home. Pretty much the same age too. Something like that robs people of so much joy and replaces it with deep mourning and suffering. It could happen anywhere. Life is so fragile. We were reminded of that during Danika’s recent passing and here again with this atrocity. It’s really quite sad.

I cannot even imagine the heart-wrenching, suffocating, and excruciating pain the loved ones of those children and teachers (and community) are experiencing. I don’t think words could really even fully express. I don’t even think crying all day and night for weeks on end could even capture the magnitude of that pain.

The fact of life though is that we all will one day each take our turn with suffering. I’m not a pessimist, but it’s just plain truth. Death is inevitable and pain does come. We all just take our turns in different ways. My hope is in Christ and one day there will be no more pain and suffering. One day it will be as God intended… to be in full enjoyment of Him and all of his creation free from any death or sin. Through this absolute devastation, when we have lots of questions, but are given no answers, I will continue to trust God.

Things I have read and listened to that help strengthens my resolve to trust God even when things don’t make sense…

– This message of good news about the gospel. This is where my ultimate joy is found.

– I love how this read helped me understand grief and tragedy in relation to God.

– This message on “Suffering Well”. This is shared by my friend Eric, who is Danika’s uncle. Their family is going through tremendous pain through the sudden passing of Danika and through it they are trusting God. Hearing this encouraged my soul.

– I like how Stephanie encourages to look for the helpers during tragedies like this.

These are just a few things popping in my heart. I appreciate that some of you still visit here even though we don’t share the same beliefs. During sadness and even joy, my hope should be in Christ alone. Things like this also remind me to be intentional in enjoying my girls and my husband, as well as all the other people in my life. It’s not the house, clothes, vintage furniture, or the presents under the tree that matters. When we all come face to face with death, all the material things we want or have accumulated will be the last thing we will be thinking about or desiring for. It’s not wrong to want and like things, but we must always have a bigger picture in mind. Life is not about stuff. Christ and my loved ones are the real treasures.

I was reading the schedules of the families in Connecticut and today starts the burial for two of the little children, tomorrow there are a couple more, and so on until the end of this week. It’s all so heartbreaking.

Thus, in the light of this recent tragedy, I am going to observe a week of silence here in this space. I can’t imagine going on and on talking about how to decorate this and that, Christmas wants, or even sharing pretty pictures of what we’re baking while so many families are in mourning.

I am always thankful for you and how you support my intermittent heart ramblings and I also thank you for understanding the silence I want to observe in this space. For me, this silence just feels right. Be back soon friends.

We’ve been pretty consistent in our trips to the Farmers Market and we all get excited about it every Friday. The girls enjoy getting out (so do I!) and picking out some fresh fruit and lunch. We usually pick up fresh hummus and pita bread. We even did it in the rain last week!  Our Farmers Market isn’t as spectacular as the one at the Ferry Building in SF. It’s actually 1/8 of that size, but it’s got a couple vendors with organic produce, so we’ll take it.

Our circle of friends and family are all still going through freshness of Danika’s passing, and one friend, Julian, wrote this on his facebook page… “I must admit, I always found Danika more or less intimidating. Is it weird to think a girl half your size as intimidating? She was, as I remember, willful, maybe headstrong. The crown jewel of the Tibayan clan. The first girl. Save for a few summers in my Vacation Bible School class, I watched her grow up largely indirectly. She would happen to be there and so would I. Still that night Melody and I prayed for her, I sobbed. At 17, I want to say it was too soon, she was too young, had so much of her life ahead of her. I want to grieve that she never got the chance to have so many of the opportunities we associate with a full life. Then I remember heaven. For Christians, our fullest life isn’t here. While we praise God for our time here, we do our work faithfully, we want to be in heaven, in God’s presence, to rest in His arms totally fulfilled. “Better is one day in your courts, than a thousand elsewhere,” the psalmist says. If Jesus is my joy, heaven is my home. I still ache for her family, but there is comfort in knowing that the hope that has delivered countless other Christians through hardship and loss leads them now. For those who put their faith in Jesus, the one whom death could not conquer, the one whom the grave could not hold, and the one by whom death loses its sting, there is only life ahead. PTLJ.”

That was beautifully written and well-said.

This week’s learned, links, and thanksgivings…

Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and get help. I’m learning that slowly.

Soulie’s 3! Suddenly, it seems she speaks a bit more clearly. She didn’t really start talking until the age of 2 and a half.

I was so encouraged with the boldness and urgency that was in the message PJ, our pastor and Danika’s uncle, shared at her funeral.

The girls are excited we finally started decorating for Christmas. The tree is up!

My sister’s wedding was featured on 100 layer Cake along with some exciting news that her and her husband have teamed up with Max Wanger and they are now his associate photographers and are part of Max and Friends.

Ben’s birthday is on Tuesday. I honestly don’t know what we’re doing yet. Must figure something out quick!

Love this pretty DIY pinecones by Katie.

Love Joy’s Reindeer and Snow creation. Her pillows are also quite beautiful!

I’m making a bunch of these to put around the house.

I want to try and make this lavender ice cream recipe.

As we were singing worship during the funeral service yesterday, the line that moved me to tears was, “He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be thy name!” Death is hard, but to see our friends still praising God’s name throughout this difficult circumstance deeply encourages my soul. I know God is using this for something even greater than we will ever know.

We just celebrated Soul’s 3rd birthday today. Praise Jesus for giving her and us another year together. In light of recent happenings to those close to us, I’m feeling even more grateful to God for every new day we all get together.

This week’s learned, links, and thanksgivings…

Glow is a funny little babbler. Oh and she LOVES brushing her teeth!

Soul was beaming so big this morning because she knew it was finally her birthday.

True’s definitely a little crafter. That girl is so resourceful in making things.

Totally want to make these baskets.

Inspired by Rachel’s zeal for Christmas decorating and her white Christmas tree. Seriously considering a white tree.

Misha Lulu’s little daughter is in this (The Grabbit) contest commercial. It’s so funny, so please vote for it! My girls keep asking to watch it over and over and over again.

Thankful that after losing my cellphone on February 16th, I finally have one again! YAY!!! Ben upgraded his iphone and I got his old one. Hello smartphone! Now, I can instagram (@rubyellenbratcher) on more than just from my ipad. HA!

Ben and I are addicted to The Walking Dead. We watched season 1, 2, and got caught up with 3 in two weeks. Right after 24, this is my favorite show. It’s so intense!

Thankful for the gloomy weather we have had lately. I love it!

Praise God that I survived taking all 4 girls to get their annual checkups together. It takes work to get them all out of the house, let alone a doctor appointment.

We still haven’t started decorating for Christmas. We better start soon because Christmas will be here before we know it. At least I’m done with Christmas shopping!!!

Thank you for all those who prayed for Danika and have been following along on the Pray for Danika facebook page. It’s been an intense week for the Tibayan family and while Danika’s battle is coming to an end, prayers are still needed for all her friends and family that remain. Ben and I were with the family for just a few short hours last night at the hospital and came home feeling shocked, sad, and emotionally exhausted. This was just from a few short hours, I can’t even imagine how the Tibayan family feels pretty much living at the hospital for the whole week.

It was just 6 weeks ago, we were all together with the whole Tibayan clan celebrating my best (guy) friend’s wedding and I vividly remember watching them as they were taking their family pictures, and they were all saying they didn’t know when they would have the whole clan together again (one brother and his family lives in Hawaii and another lives in Minnesota). Little did they know how much their family would change just a short six weeks later.

As a mother, my imagination cannot even come close to what one feels when losing a child. I am sure know one can ever understand the depth of that pain unless one has lived through it. My heart breaks for Danika’s parents and  yet in this sorrow they are facing, her mom continuously declares that God is good, wise, and in control. Her faith in declaring our God is always good under the painful circumstances of losing her baby girl is an encouragement to such a young and often failing mother like me. It also encourages me to be an intentional mother to my children. This is the role I have chosen and by God’s grace, I want to do the best I am able to. Yes, there are tons of failures along the way, but I need to learn and grow as a mother and love my children more with every bit of learning I do.

Danika’s brain was deprived of oxygen for 30 minutes, but it only takes 6 minutes of deprivation to cause serious damage. That thought kind of wakes me up to how fragile life actually is. I think I go about my days so fearlessly thinking I am going to live until I’m 80 or until my kids are 80, but the truth is no one is ever promised a long life like that. Something we say over here (and in our circle of friends) is “We are thankful for our temporary health.” While it’s true, yes, we are thanking God for good health, at some point all of our healths will deteriorate (unless you find the never ending fountain of youth), it’s a natural part of life, and we must still continue thanking God even at that point. Death is never easy, but I am glad that we can trust in a God who is wise, good, and in control.

Thank you again for those who have sent prayers for Danika, but if you are able to after you read this, please also say one for her family and their continuous strength and comfort. There are no doubt some tough days ahead for all of them. #prayfordanika