December 17, 2012

the babiesEveryone is in shock over the horrific killings that happened in Connecticut. Those were kids, just like the 4 little ones I have in my home. Pretty much the same age too. Something like that robs people of so much joy and replaces it with deep mourning and suffering. It could happen anywhere. Life is so fragile. We were reminded of that during Danika’s recent passing and here again with this atrocity. It’s really quite sad.

I cannot even imagine the heart-wrenching, suffocating, and excruciating pain the loved ones of those children and teachers (and community) are experiencing. I don’t think words could really even fully express. I don’t even think crying all day and night for weeks on end could even capture the magnitude of that pain.

The fact of life though is that we all will one day each take our turn with suffering. I’m not a pessimist, but it’s just plain truth. Death is inevitable and pain does come. We all just take our turns in different ways. My hope is in Christ and one day there will be no more pain and suffering. One day it will be as God intended… to be in full enjoyment of Him and all of his creation free from any death or sin. Through this absolute devastation, when we have lots of questions, but are given no answers, I will continue to trust God.

Things I have read and listened to that help strengthens my resolve to trust God even when things don’t make sense…

– This message of good news about the gospel. This is where my ultimate joy is found.

– I love how this read helped me understand grief and tragedy in relation to God.

– This message on “Suffering Well”. This is shared by my friend Eric, who is Danika’s uncle. Their family is going through tremendous pain through the sudden passing of Danika and through it they are trusting God. Hearing this encouraged my soul.

– I like how Stephanie encourages to look for the helpers during tragedies like this.

These are just a few things popping in my heart. I appreciate that some of you still visit here even though we don’t share the same beliefs. During sadness and even joy, my hope should be in Christ alone. Things like this also remind me to be intentional in enjoying my girls and my husband, as well as all the other people in my life. It’s not the house, clothes, vintage furniture, or the presents under the tree that matters. When we all come face to face with death, all the material things we want or have accumulated will be the last thing we will be thinking about or desiring for. It’s not wrong to want and like things, but we must always have a bigger picture in mind. Life is not about stuff. Christ and my loved ones are the real treasures.

I was reading the schedules of the families in Connecticut and today starts the burial for two of the little children, tomorrow there are a couple more, and so on until the end of this week. It’s all so heartbreaking.

Thus, in the light of this recent tragedy, I am going to observe a week of silence here in this space. I can’t imagine going on and on talking about how to decorate this and that, Christmas wants, or even sharing pretty pictures of what we’re baking while so many families are in mourning.

I am always thankful for you and how you support my intermittent heart ramblings and I also thank you for understanding the silence I want to observe in this space. For me, this silence just feels right. Be back soon friends.

19 comments on “silence”

  • richellejean says:

    Frank Pastore passed away 🙁

  • amy says:

    I do not share your faith (I am Jewish), but I do share your values: family, kindness, spirituality, etc. I think that is why I so love reading your blog. I save it for last of the blogs I read daily because it is such a treat! This week I will miss reading about your girls and family life, and seeing their cute pictures (especially your baby whom I am madly in love with!), but I really get and respect your decision not to blog right now. You have a very empathetic soul. Take care of your girlies and see you again soon.

  • Chelsy says:

    Thank you so much for this.

  • Kelsi says:

    Thank you for so wonderfully displaying a heart for Christ. Our pastor spoke about the shooting and important questions we ask in tragedy, the main ones being – “Where was God when ________ happened?” Or “If God is good, why do we suffer?”
    The most important thing he pointed out was that God keeps his promises. God has not promised a painless life, it is guaranteed we will all experience hurts. What he has promised is refuge in Him, a safe place when our human world is falling apart. He promises one day he will come down and say “Enough!” and disarm us to make peace and eternal happiness. It’s so important to remember this not only when you can look on the outside of tragedy at others but when a crisis happens to you personally as well, which is something I definitely am learning to put into action.
    Anyways I really enjoy insight into your faith on your blog. I wish their was more of that in the lifestyle blog world.

  • Emma says:

    I’m usually a silent follower, but I just wanted to say this post meant a lot to me. It is always encouraging to read blogs written by fellow believers. It is hard because I run a mainly fashion blog and often feel like I cannot express my beliefs or that it would not fit in, but it is always a breath of fresh air for me to read your blog and others like it. Thank you for being so honest.


  • Tanya says:

    Blogging can seem superficial sometimes, especially in the midst of such tragedy, so I get your decision completely. I hope this week you will have more time to enjoy with your littles since you won’t have to put any blog posts together! I look forward to hearing from you again after Christmas. God bless you and your sweet family!

  • Leire says:

    Dear Ruby,
    I completely understand what your heart needs at this time and I am happy to see you found a way to answer its needs. Tragedy hits us any time as you mentioned. It’s God that takes us through the good and the bad. Only with Him do we learn how to enjoy life and I beleive it is our duty to enjoy life and make life enjoyable to others, specially when tragedy strikes.
    Even as contradictory as it may seem, I do believe God is always leading us to a path of Joy. Sometimes it’s just extremely difficult to make it there. Hard paths make us realize how meaningful the Light, the Joy found is.
    I am so sorry for the pain of those families and ever family who can hardly live the Joy of Christmas.
    Lots of love,

  • You and I do not share a belief system, religiously speaking, but I find myself coming here often and enjoying what I read irregardless of our different beliefs. I find your heart to be so open and inviting and never judgmental; you offer words of peace and comfort, stories of family and love, and I don’t feel like I have to a religious person to appreciate your family’s story. Thank you for the links, I look forward to reading and learning more.

  • mel says:

    I believe in a God who is sovereign, but it doesn’t mean I don’t question why He allows things like this to happen. Thank you for being transparent about your faith and for posting these links. Praying for comfort and peace for these grieving families.

  • Silvy says:

    loved this post, and love your choice. the title is so appropriate. silence. praying for those grieving families.

  • Ana says:

    Beautiful post!! It made me cry, as it reminds me of how fragile life is and how we are just borrowing time on this earth. As much as we like to think our children are ours they are not, they belong to God and we are so lucky to have them in our lives. Thank you for sharing your beautiful kids and your lives with all of us! Merry Christmas!

  • Julie M says:

    I like that you are taking a little silence. I hope that you use that time to enjoy your family just a little extra, as we are all doing. Living in CT, about 40 minutes from Newtown, we are all just in shock. I think that if we could have one request from our friends across the country, do not support the news when they are in front of the schools. Change your channel. We have friends in that town & they can’t even go to school without having reporters knocking on their car windows asking them to talk to them. They are hurting. They are trying to bring some of the normal routine back to their children. These reporters are getting into their faces & their children’s faces asking them to talk. I have turned off our news in our house. Some of our local stations have said that they will not cover the funerals so that the community can grieve in peace. If you turned off your news, you would let them know that we don’t need to see those pictures any more. We have them burned into our hearts & souls.

  • HappyHibiscus says:

    We as your readers totally support this decision and it encourages us to take some time away from the computer to reflect.

  • Betsy says:

    I too put my trust in Christ 🙂

    As a first grade teacher (and pregnant momma!) the news of what happened hit my heart hard. I cant even begin to imagine what it would feel like if something like that happened to my students (or my future little one). You are very wise in your choice to observe a week of silence on the blog. I admire you for it.

  • Abigail says:

    Ruby — thank you so much for your vow of silence. It is the best response I have seen yet in the blog-o-sphere to the Newtown massacre. In fact, it is the only meaningful response. I found myself frustrated in the aftermath of the shootings at how almost every blog I follow skated right over it. As if we haven’t just experienced a national tragedy! I am not a mother (yet) but as a human being, I simply cannot fathom this tragedy. It’s disgusting, it’s horrifying, but it needs to be acknowledged. Those children need to be acknowledged. So thank you for doing so, and not joining the ranks of those incapable of facing this event. Give True, Brave, Soul, and Glow an extra big squeeze when you read this, because sometimes we all need to remember how lucky we are. Newtown, Connecticut could’ve been Anytown, America, and this situation could’ve been ours to try to cope with. Newtown needs all the love, support, and kind thoughts it can get (even if only online!) So, again, thank you.

  • SHINE says:

    I live in Sandy Hook. I have a first grader and third grader at Sandy Hook Elementary. I am one of the lucky first grade parents who found her child at the firehouse the morning of Dec. 14.
    I spent the last week at the funerals of all of our friends. We are in the midst of unspeakable grief.

    God is bigger than evil.
    And right here, in Newtown, as we mourn the loss of SO MUCH…friends, a principle, teachers…our SCHOOL…our innocence…
    still, there is a Light.

    God takes the worst imaginable, breaks it open, and shows us the good.

    Thank you for your prayers. For the silence. Everyone needs to be still…to be quiet…to listen to HIS voice.
    He will tell us the way to go from here….

    love from sandy hook-

  • Katie says:

    I recognized one of your crafts on a buzzfeed post this morning!

  • Karla says:

    I haven’t visited this space in a few weeks. Just wanted to say how good it felt to read this and wish I had read it back then.. Back then that even know having moved from Michigan to Australia, I felt such a deep sadness that took days and days to pass. I cried on and off for 2 days and wondered why things like this happen. I foud ways to watch the news, check the news without my 3 babes finding out about this horrible tragedy. Just wanted to say this… Even weeks later how much I respect your decision for silence. I too retreated from everyone to appreciate my family a little more, pray to god to help with the heartbreak for those parents and imagined myself in their shoes and cried some more xoxo

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