life is really just a vapor

November 30, 2012

God is goodThank you for all those who prayed for Danika and have been following along on the Pray for Danika facebook page. It’s been an intense week for the Tibayan family and while Danika’s battle is coming to an end, prayers are still needed for all her friends and family that remain. Ben and I were with the family for just a few short hours last night at the hospital and came home feeling shocked, sad, and emotionally exhausted. This was just from a few short hours, I can’t even imagine how the Tibayan family feels pretty much living at the hospital for the whole week.

It was just 6 weeks ago, we were all together with the whole Tibayan clan celebrating my best (guy) friend’s wedding and I vividly remember watching them as they were taking their family pictures, and they were all saying they didn’t know when they would have the whole clan together again (one brother and his family lives in Hawaii and another lives in Minnesota). Little did they know how much their family would change just a short six weeks later.

As a mother, my imagination cannot even come close to what one feels when losing a child. I am sure know one can ever understand the depth of that pain unless one has lived through it. My heart breaks for Danika’s parents and  yet in this sorrow they are facing, her mom continuously declares that God is good, wise, and in control. Her faith in declaring our God is always good under the painful circumstances of losing her baby girl is an encouragement to such a young and often failing mother like me. It also encourages me to be an intentional mother to my children. This is the role I have chosen and by God’s grace, I want to do the best I am able to. Yes, there are tons of failures along the way, but I need to learn and grow as a mother and love my children more with every bit of learning I do.

Danika’s brain was deprived of oxygen for 30 minutes, but it only takes 6 minutes of deprivation to cause serious damage. That thought kind of wakes me up to how fragile life actually is. I think I go about my days so fearlessly thinking I am going to live until I’m 80 or until my kids are 80, but the truth is no one is ever promised a long life like that. Something we say over here (and in our circle of friends) is “We are thankful for our temporary health.” While it’s true, yes, we are thanking God for good health, at some point all of our healths will deteriorate (unless you find the never ending fountain of youth), it’s a natural part of life, and we must still continue thanking God even at that point. Death is never easy, but I am glad that we can trust in a God who is wise, good, and in control.

Thank you again for those who have sent prayers for Danika, but if you are able to after you read this, please also say one for her family and their continuous strength and comfort. There are no doubt some tough days ahead for all of them. #prayfordanika

22 comments on “life is really just a vapor”

  • Sarah says:

    Lifted them up in prayer tonight and will continue to do so! Praying that they would feel God’s hands holding their hearts!
    That He would be their peace, comfort, rest & strength.

  • Jen says:

    such a tragedy for their family, I will keep them in my prayers. just how fleeting life is has really been on my mind lately too after a friend lost her 4 mo old baby to sids this month 🙁 we really have to keep our trust on God and appreciate every day we have…

  • Liz says:

    We have been praying and following prayers for Danika FB page. She truly touched so many lives and her spirit remains so bright in those that have gotten to know her or her story. We are truly sorry for her loss and keep her family and all those closely around her in prayer. Her mother is profoundly strong. Being a mother myself, I don’t know if I could still hold strong. I continue to pray especially for her strength and courage to continue to trust in GOD and know that Danika is somewhere safe.
    I will be holding my kids closer tonight and thanking GOD that I have them both healthy and thriving.

    Peace be with you and Ben and the girls. xoxo

  • Bethany says:

    My heart just sank as I saw the title of your post… I knew what happened. I can’t even imagine what her family is going through. And I know you are too. We have been praying for Danika and we will continue to pray for her soul… and we will keep her family in our prayers also. We just lost a young man in his middle twenties here– he had everything going for him. It doesn’t make sense. But you are right– it’s all just temporary. And being an intentional parent (and in everything else) is the most important thing. Sending a big hug to you!

  • I too don’t understand the concept of what it feels like to lose a child, and to be able t declare God’s goodness and faithfulness; that is something I hope I would be able to continue to do while in that situation, and so I highly admire Danika’s mother. I will still be praying for God to miraculously heal her, for with Him, all things ARE possible. I have seen God answer prayers for people I loved and didn’t want to die with a, “I know what I am doing, and they are coming home to me,” which was not easy, but I pray that God says, “Yes, she will be healed,” for Danika. May His glory and goodness prevail as we all abide in Him.

  • Rocio says:

    I’m so sorry for the loss to her family and the impact on yours. Keeping everyone involved in my thoughts.

  • Jen says:

    Tears welling up.. I am so sorry for your loss, and for Danika’s family. It’s true that we need to use each day that we’re given to the fullest, sharing our love with those around us. Sending love from NYC.

  • Anastasia says:

    My grandpa is dying of cancer… It is a first close person that I am loosing in my life, and one thing I know now is that death is a hole puncher for our hearts! This song has helped me to cry a healthy cry – yes I am sad that he is leaving us, but I know God is good and is in controll, and loves us, and what we are going through right now is all part of His great plan carefully planned out for us.

    All you saw was pain
    All you saw was rain
    But you should see me now
    Moments filled with tears
    Lasted all those years
    Disappeared somehow
    You never said goodbye
    On your knees you cry
    You’re still asking why, but

    Blue has never been bluer
    True has never been truer
    Honey never tasted so sweet
    There’s a song in the breeze
    A million voices in praise
    A rose has never smelled redder
    The sun has never been brighter
    If I could find the right words to say
    If you could look at my face
    If you could just see this place
    You wouldn’t cry for me today

    What you think you see
    Isn’t really me
    I’m already home
    You’ve got to lay it down
    ‘Cause Jesus holds me now
    And I am not alone
    Your faith is wearing thin
    But I am watching Him
    And He’s holding you, too

    What may seem like years will just be a moment
    Oh, the day will come
    When I’ll show you where you’re going
    I can’t wait to show you that

  • Hannah says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family and all of you who knew her.

  • Anna says:

    So very sorry to hear about your friends. What incredible strength of faith that lady has. I hope it will help this family to come to terms with their grief. Thoughts and prayers with you all.

  • victoria says:

    I’m so sorry, such a dreadful loss of such a gorgeous talented girl. I watched the video you posted again – thank you for sharing it. So hard to understand and accept the loss of one so lovely and vibrant.

  • kristin says:

    I’m so, so sorry. What a tragedy. I hope your family and the Tibayan family can find some glimmer of hope and peace during this terrible time. Take care.

  • Ellie says:

    This is so sad, this is just so heart breaking…

  • Gabrielle Poor says:

    Wow, for some reason I just didn’t process that that wedding was Reese’s wedding. I guess we have a mutual acquaintance? haha.

    I barely know Reese, I met her when she was engaged to this guy from one of my favorite bands, and I was planning on going to that wedding but it didn’t work out. It’s still cool to see how these connections work. The world is really really small in the end.

    I saw her posting stuff about Danika, and I just figured it was a facebook thing. My heart goes out to all of you.

  • Danni says:

    This is really so sad and tragic. I prayed for Danika the morning after we talked and wondered about how she was. then i heard this song on the radio on my drive to LA and it said that even if the healing doesn’t come, God is good and He is the faithful one. it was written by some guys who saw a lot of kids with cancer pass away. truly our ways are not His ways. I pray that the family draws even more near to our Lord and that He will show them the light among all this darkness. Thanks for sharing her story and showing us to be thankful for each day Ruby!

  • misha lulu says:

    The other day Bela told me She wanted to pray for a friends friend and I asked her who and She said :Danika mami!
    We are praying for the family and for a miracle.

  • Claudia says:

    Hi Ruby,

    I’ve been reading your blog for about 2 years. On Saturday, my boyfriend got a sudden and severe neck injury and had to have immediate surgery for his spinal cord. While he was in the ICU, I was in the waiting room and actually met Niko on Saturday eve/early Sunday morning. He was there with a group of people and I asked them if they were all there for one person. He said he was there for his sister and explained the situation.. and then I realized that he was talking about the same Danika that you wrote these blog posts about. I told him that I knew about Danika’s situation through your blog. I’m glad I was able to meet him and tell him in person that I have been praying for Danika and her family.. all because I have read your blog posts on her. Anyway, just wanted to say that you’re a great blogger and I love reading all your posts!

    -Claudia S.

  • sgrmse. says:

    so sorry for the loss..

  • Rimi says:

    I have always been a fan of Danky way back her ARK days. In spite of the bashing and all, I kept my faith and trust on her talent and so I started following her achievements. Until last week, when I decided to go and check her video out, I saw some RIP thingy there and I felt like it was just a dream. But as I went on researching, the truth which was cold and real slapped me on my face that she’s no longer physically with us. After reading all the posts about her loss, I can only send her my prayers and thanks for the inspiration and motivation that she has brought to us all for the past 17 years. It must have been really painful for the TIbayan family to celebrate her 18th Birthday but I am so amazed with the tons of strength that Mrs. Tibayan possesses. After all the things that were, I would like to say “Danika, wherever you are, keep on singing…sing with the Angels up there in the sky. Continue to be a cheerleader of the cherubs and seraphs in heaven and make God happy with your untiring smiles.”


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