that time we went on a date and i was totally out of it

August 12, 2013


date nightdate night The girls all slept at my mom and dad’s on Friday night and it was so they could have their turn to celebrate Brave’s birthday with her. I didn’t mind because that meant Ben and I would get a quiet evening together. We dropped off the girls, my sister snapped some pictures of us on our way out, and then on our way to dinner, Ben said, “Your face is tense.”

I replied, “I’m just tired.”

We had a yummy dinner at our go-to date place, but much of the time Ben kept telling me that I wasn’t myself. He was doing most of the talking and I was just kind of there. I’d chat back, but I guess I wasn’t my normally “bubbly-self,” as he would say. The afternoon hadn’t gone as planned in my head and I felt I didn’t utilize my time as wisely as I could have, it got to me, and I kept dwelling on it and that just made me frustrated and tired. To add to that, I was frustrated that the girls’ room was upside down (again!) and it just had been gone through! He kept telling me to just brush it off and I was trying. I wasn’t mad at anyone particularly, but I think I was just mentally exhausted.

No matter if you’re a working mom, stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom… it’s all hard! One group may argue that the other group may have it easier, but any way you slice it, there are pros and cons to all of those choices, and no matter what category you’re in, it can get pretty darn challenging at times. I know for me personally, how much I pray and spend time growing my relationship with God, directly affects my view of motherhood and how I handle it. Sometimes after serving a cup of O’s for the 11th time, I just want to yell, “You go take care of it yourself!” Maybe I have once or twice before!

I love all of this (maybe not all the messes so much and the constant bickering), but yeah it drains me too. My kids put me on this amazing high (like here) and sometimes they just make me so exhausted I want to crawl into bed and come out when they’re responsible adults. I know it will get harder before it gets easier (4 teen girls at the same time will make this stage seem like cake!), but if somehow a cup of ice cream almost every night makes these days a little bit more manageable, then by golly, I will relish that cup of ice cream each night!

Here’s to being plain tired sometimes and using ice cream to get me through! Anybody with me on that?!

btw- the dietitian husband would never approve of eating to cope with stress. ha!

18 comments on “that time we went on a date and i was totally out of it”

  • shannon says:

    Yes, Yes, and Yes! Ice cream is essential for me too some ok most days!! I totally agree with you that motherhood is challenging whether you are at home, or work outside of the home. I have an almost 1 year old and I have spent half the time at home and the other half working at a corporate office. It is just plain hard some days. Like you though, I do love it so so much- and wouldn’t change it for the world :).

  • Twinzees says:

    I love this post. You said everything I can’t seem to find the words for (which makes me more frustrated with myself). I have had a stream of “difficult” days that make me want to throw in the towel and ask someone else to , “just do it for me!” then I get a moment of baby cuddles and toddler sweetness that makes all the difficult times well worth it. (I love love love your blog) 🙂

  • Jocelan says:

    Yup. Just sitting here with my ice cream after a long day home with my girls..Maple walnut is a good choice!

  • Liz says:

    that’s what i was telling my friend who is going back to work soon after having her first baby… its hard yes. but it would be hard if she wasn’t going back to work. its a battle we fight with every day i think. nowadays so much more is expected from moms. we gotta take care of the children, keep the house clean, cook, bring home the bacon, make time for ourselves and look good while doing it. yes, its very exhausting!
    i am totally with you on that, and my kids room is a mess the day after i clean it too. right now, its a mess and i am so tired of picking it up. makes me wanna throw out all their toys, they hardly play with them anyway lol.
    but overall i think we’re doing a great job. xoxo!!

  • ER says:

    my mother in law told me that she was once complaining to an older aunt how messy the kids rooms were, and she replied, “that’s what the door is for.”

  • Cute pictures. That is nice that you got to have a time to spend just with Ben.
    I think I’ve done that before. . .been quiet when out with my husband as he talks, and I think it is because after dealing with all the fighting of my boys or having to come up with constant activities for them and such, that I just get worn out and want to relax. . and my husband gets that because he likes to do that himself. I don’t get much time away from my boys and when I do. . it is sometimes hard to just sit back and relax. I totally understand the frustrations of being a stay-at-home housewife/homeschooling mama. It is definitely hard. I am so thankful for Christ to try to help me throughout each day!!!
    No ice cream for me though. sorry!

  • heather says:

    i’m totally with you on the ice-cream! my stomach isn’t as flat as yours though! 🙂 would you mind maybe sometime writing about how you fit your running in? i admire you running those fun runs, and know you can’t just jump up and do those without some regular exercise. i have such a hard time figuring out when to exercise, but i know that is really just an excuse. anyway… you are an inspiration and sometimes just make me feel like i’m ok too. true- motherhood is just hard…but lucky hard! 🙂

  • Chickything says:

    If you allow me to suggest something that would help you tremendously then i will go ahead and share it here. Im a mom of four and it seems like all we did was clean up and yet the house still looked like a mess, then i realzed we had way too much stuff. We couldnt spend time together, all we did was organize and clean. We were exhausted, stressed and as if we became slaves to our stuff and yet we still shopped. After a long process and literally forcing ourselves to learn to let go of stuff, we finally did it.We got rid of 80% of our storage, sold bags and bags of clothes and toys,we learned how to not buy things we dont need, we only kept things we absolutely love and now we have more time to relax,eat out and spend time. We have everything we need. I know we can still do so much and i am eager to do it. The kids are happier and i am happier and we have more time to spend with one another and with ourselves. The blogs i read that changed my outlook was http://www.zenhabits.com and http://www.mnmlst.com though they are a bit extreme, we can certainly learn from them, tweak it a little to best fit our lifestyle. My life is changed forever.

    • mycakies says:

      Oh I most definitely think that plays a role! Funny thing is I’m always purging and getting rid of stuff. And while the girls were gone, I cleaned out their room (yet again!) and got rid of more toys (yet again!), but then Brave comes home with 4 new toys given to her from the grandparents for her birthday! Oye! We don’t really buy them toys, but most of them come from the grandparents. I’m totally with you though!

      Thank you for those links. I will check them out!

  • Katy says:

    Thanks for keeping it real. 🙂

  • Denise says:

    Know what you’re saying. When I’m tired imhappy just to listen to others talk, but its too much effort to talk myself
    Thanks for keeping it real. God bless you,by the way my daughter is 15 years and life is not too bad, yes hormones play a part but I know the kind of outbursts that are from her hormones and try to understand with a lot of praying too.
    Go is definitely helping me with my roles as
    Wife and mum and worker outside our home. You’re doing a
    You’re doing a great job as wife and mum to your girls
    Yours in Christ xx

  • Tasneem says:

    Thanks for sharing. I know exactly how you feel. My husband has been saying that I seem sad and stressed lately and it all comes down to feeling like I don’t have enough time. My sister is getting married next week and I feel like I have been running around like crazy but at the same time not being a particularly good wife, mother, sister or daughter let alone coworker because there are just too many things. So I am doing my best to take a few deep breaths and relax a little. Things will be more controllable in two weeks.

  • Marlene Escalera says:

    Thank you for being honest. I love it!!!

  • Chico chan says:

    I love your posts, it’s so true what you say! Keep goin’ 😉

  • Andria says:

    You deserve, like, a cone with 7 scoops of ice cream.

  • Tanya says:

    Sometimes that’s the way date nights go. I know I often don’t even want to go when it comes time to get ready to go out. I’d rather have my husband watch the kids and I get some time alone.

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