March 19, 2018

I’m an introvert, but an extroverted introvert. Ben, on the other hand, is an introverted introvert. Over the years, we’ve learned how to come out of introverted-ness to love others. We know we need people in our lives… speaking truth, sharing burdens, serving others, confessing struggles, so you can’t really do that in isolation. I help pull Ben over to being an extroverted introvert sometimes, and if you met us in person, you’d for sure be surprised that we are introverts, especially me. We love people and are thankful for the community of people in our lives, but after spending time with people, we need to recharge by ourselves. It’s funny how that works. We also find our extroverted friends curious because they draw energy from being with people, and that’s just something we can’t relate to.

We’re also thankful we’re the same, so we don’t really have that tension of being opposites. I can imagine it would be a struggle to have those two opposites in a relationship, and while I’m sure it works, I’m sure there’s some squabbles that come along with it. We have our own squabbles too, but it doesn’t relate to being opposites. Our fights usually come up in our culture clashes, but that’s another post for another day.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert? As far as we can tell, we have 4 little introverts on our hands. I wonder if that will change with time.


  • Karla says:

    I am most definitely an “innie.” Growing up, I didn’t understand what this meant… I thought I was just “shy” and people were always trying to get me to come out of my shell. It’s frustrating when you’re trying to conform to the standards and expectations of an “outie” world.

    I used to be so upset and confused when I would leave a social gathering exhausted, near tears. Now I understand more why I am, but it can still be oh so frustrating. I tend to dread and avoid such situations because of how they make me feel.

    And it’s also caused me to question my faith… why would God make me this way if Christians are supposed to be about loving PEOPLE?! Mom of four, I struggle with being around my kids all. the. time. And I’m pretty sure at least one of them is an extrovert, so I’m not sure how I will give her the things she needs. SIGH

  • Sara Speight says:

    I am like you an extroverted introvert. I’m a teacher and I love my job, I read in a personality test once that jobs that involve meaningful relationships with people rather than small talk would suit me, that helped me understand why I love teaching. I definitely need recharge time sometimes between my school kids and my own kids! My husband is also an I introverted introvert!

  • Jenifer Higgins says:

    I always find this stuff so interesting! Every test I’ve ever taken says I don’t show a marginal preference for either introversion or extroversion. I’ve heard that people like me are called ambiverts. I can and do go either way, sometimes depending on what type of personality is most needed in a situation. My husband is an introvert, but an extroverted introvert. Our daughter is an extrovert. I could tell from the time she was a baby and it has held true even at 14!

  • I’m an extroverted introvert too, and my husband is also an introvert! in terms of Christian community, do you find that you and Ben are equally invested in making time for it, specifically in terms both of you having deep friendships (you with other women and he with other men?) p.s. this is such a wonderful photo of you two! <3

  • karen thaco says:

    I love your picture Ruby!!!!
    Social networks saved my life! We are a couple of introverts

  • Rachael says:

    It can be tough, I’m extroverted and my partner introverted. I love people visiting, staying and he doesn’t. We have learned to compromise- mostly haha

    • Rubyellen says:

      I can imagine it takes work to find that balance with you both being opposites in that regard.

  • Thietkebeboi says:

    This is a beautiful picture. Certainly this is a very happy couple

  • I’m also an introvert, but an extroverted introvert like you

Comments are closed.

Design by Blog Milk