Being a mom is great, but let's be real, there are lots of not so great days too. Today, I had envisioned adventures out to get ice cream to celebrate the end of standardized testing, but then it was raining, and I didn't want to drive in the rain. Also, the girls had some schoolwork to finish and I had projects to catch up on, so we decided to stay home. I did say, "If we get everything done early, we can hop in bed, watch a movie, and eat ice cream." I thought some movie watching and ice cream eating was a good way to waste away our Friday afternoon.
Well, of course, someone had to start fighting with someone, and someone didn't want to share with another someone, all while I was trying to cook. Then, I join in and decide to be mad at all of them because they aren't listening and everyone is pissed off. I took a break and went off in my room to get away from the endless crying. One was in her room crying over the silliest things, another was at the school table crying because everyone is mad, and number three is pouting and angry because I took away their light sabers (they weren't sharing). In the midst of the crazy, the baby was sleeping (she always disappears to nap every afternoon), so she missed all the drama. I laid in bed, put on Netflix (and my headphones), and waited a little while until it was safe to come out of my cave.
When I finally emerged (after an episode of Daredevil), there was no more crying, the baby was awake, all the laundry was put away, one was downstairs sweeping, and another in her bed reading. One by one I talked to each girl and talked about how they were struggling to love others more than themselves (and how I was having a hard time with that too). Then they each prayed and asked for forgiveness from God for whatever it is they were doing wrong, and then they went to party they wronged to ask forgiveness from them as well. I had to ask them (and God) to forgive me for losing my cool too. All is well and peace has been restored to our home.
Despite the not so graceful moments, motherhood has plenty of great and magical moments too. Like earlier, before all the drama, I was joking around with the girls and we were playing ninja. I was pretending to do some fancy kick moves and we were all laughing at how silly I looked. Their eyes light up when we are all just having playing and being silly together. Those moments remind me to give my kids more silly. They need a silly mom just as much as they need a structured and disciplined mom.
All of this though, good and bad, need to cherished. The time is moving far too quickly and I already feel this season will all be over too soon. My heart hurts thinking about it, while I also get excited to see what our relationship will look like later. I'm not a perfect parent, but that's why I trust in the one who was the perfect parent in my place, and I strive to point my kids to see Jesus too (albeit, I fail in that too). Parenting is definitely an adventure with lots of high highs and low lows, but I'm so thankful for all it. All of it is a blessing.
I texted Ben that the girls were driving me batty today. His text back ... #HMD.
Happy Mother's Day indeed.