We haven’t done many DIY projects lately since we are busy finishing up end of the year school stuff and activities. Despite the lack of making, I have been enjoying exercising creative muscles in mini photography projects that I’ve been sharing on my Instagram. I really love capturing all the different things growing in our garden with bold and bright backgrounds, and the girls and I have been working on something called #ourgardenstories. I love photography and I do think it’s fun to think (and share) inside a little Instagram box! Would love to have you follow along @cakiesblog!

There has been lots of sister time lately since the baby sister has been back, and it’s fun to just be silly together again. They were telling me about all things they remember about me growing up, and it was fun to hear their perspective of how I was (I’m 7 years older than Reinna, and 10 years older than the baby). I was a self consumed teenager who loved hanging out with her friends, and boyfriend, and my siblings were so much younger that me that I didn’t pay too much attention to them. I remember being on the phone with my high school boyfriend and the three of them (we have a brother too) just running all over the house making silly videos. I just laughed at all the things they remembered about me, and apparently, I was really intimidating. Both of them really took my opinions of things to heart and cared a lot about what I thought of them (and choices they made). They also thanked me for blasting all my 90’s music because they love it so much, and frequently listen to it now.

One story we laughed really hard about took place near the end of my junior year in high school… I was invited to a graduation party with friends, but somehow my parents ended up following me, and went into the party! I was so pissed off and mortified that they did that! I was too embarrassed to even set foot inside the party. My sisters remembered the party room, what people were doing, and they told me that my parents just danced and laughed together, and then left (with my very young siblings in tow the whole time). I was outside the party fuming from the embarrassment and anger, then I went home with my family, and I had a yelling fest with my parents. I never knew what the party looked like or what my parents did inside, until yesterday when my sisters told me. I just remember feeling livid that they would do that and how I was so angry that I never got to study for a final I had the next day. It’s all so silly now, and we just had a good laugh as they described how pissed off they remembered me being.

It’s interesting to hear my younger siblings’ thoughts on my teenage self. One thing that seemed to have remained constant about me is that they remember me getting mad when the house was messy, and I still get mad about my own house being messy now. I guess I have always been a neat freak and the stress mess is real. There are lots of things I would have done differently knowing what I know now, but obviously, it’s part of life and all my mistakes have shaped who I am today.

It’s been 6 months since the second time Ben proposed (December), and 10 years ago we were about a month away (July) from our wedding. Looking back at these pictures make me smile and give me lots of happy butterflies. He brought in a lot of aspects from the first time he proposed… there was a bottle in the first proposal, Dave Matthews was part of it, as was the “W” and the phrase “fill my hole.” This time around, my family was substituted by our family. But I loved how he brought in the idea of Groundhog Day and “repeat” to signify this is the second time around.

When he first proposed, it was on his 30th birthday and I thought we were out to celebrate him, but the surprise ended up being on me. Same thing happened this time around on his 40th birthday (we did this for him in the morning), and I thought we were hanging out in the garden doing garden things because that’s what he requested we do on his birthday, and again, the surprised ended up being on me. I had just come back from picking up something we needed at Lowe’s, and I was starting to rip out weeds in the yard, and he was freaking out that I was making a mess while he swiftly swept up the weeds I had scattered on the ground. Next thing I knew, he was telling me to stand in a certain spot, then the girls assumed specific positions, and he started playing music. Seeing how I had been in this similar position 10 years prior, I had an inkling of what was happening, nevertheless, this man never ceases to amaze me with his creativity and surprises. He  changed the lyrics to the Dave Matthews Band song, “Sweet” (we love DMB!), and in the end, he was on one knee with a ring in hand (the ring is from The One I Love NYC). My eyes bugged out when I saw the ring, and with tears in them, and my heart full of joy, I gave a giant squeal, “Yes!”

It was such a sweet day and I was calling my parents and BFF yelling, “I’m engaged!” He already clued them in on his plans, so it wasn’t a surprise to them, but it was fun to get all giddy with them on the phone. We don’t plan on renewing our vows, but the symbolism of that day was enough. In about a month, we will celebrate 10 years of being covenanted together, and while there’s been a lot of bliss, there’s been plenty of fighting too. You get two selfish sinners together, you’re bound to clash and fight. Even still, I’m glad that he’s the guy I get to experience grace and gospel with. What makes us work? Not because of anything we do, but rather, Jesus working through our marriage for His glory.

I found a long, button-down denim skirt at the thrift store in Texas when we were there for Christmas, but it is just a teeny bit too small (I passed it on to my sister). I’ve been keeping an eye out for one as I visit thrift stores, but most of them have been newer denim skirts. I was so happy when I came across this one (for $2!) a week ago. There were belt loops, but I didn’t want them, so I took them off with a seam ripper. My top is a vintage linen one I’ve had for years.

I’ve been hitting the jackpot at the thrift store with some nice vintage pieces. I do a happy dance when I across a vintage piece with a label that says, “Made in the U.S.A.” They just don’t make them like they used to.

Anyone been around long enough to when Rachel and I used to do our “Vintage Here, Vintage There” series? That was a fun way to encourage and inspire each other to get dressed up. We both got busy and I got pregnant (with Glow) and we slowly stopped. I used to wear a lot more 50’s and 60’s style dresses (the fit and flare type), especially shirt dresses. Those fit my then body type well, and made breastfeeding a whole lot easier, but then a year or so after having Glow, my body changed and those styles didn’t work well on me anymore. I still much prefer vintage over new, but now I gravitate to more loose, flowy, and shift style dresses. If my outfit wasn’t thrifted, more than likely, I probably sewed it. I’ve only bought a handful of new things this year, one of which was this jumpsuit, a striped dress from Zara, this dress from Old Navy, and an Everlane tee. Shoes though, that’s a whole other story; shoes are my weakness.

top, vintage (similar new, similar vintage). skirt, vintage (similar new, similar vintage). shoes, seychelles (long ago; similar new, similar vintage). bag, flea market (similar new, similar vintage).

This week’s learned, links, and thankfulness…

I’m so happy my baby sister is finally home! I’ve been so blessed by seeing her love for the gospel increase, and there’s been a heck of a lot of family time this week. I even slept over one night (with the girls), so I can wake up my sister the way I used to in the good ol’ days! She wrote this letter to herself, and again, my heart is deeply encouraged by how my sister has grown in her knowledge of grace and the gospel. There is much to be learned from her.

Last Saturday’s #dancingman party with the Dance Free Movement was so freakin’ fun! I could have danced the whole night away, but we had 4 children to pick up and get to bed, so we called it quits at 10:30pm (we got to bed at 12:30am, so that’s pretty wild in our book).

I’m so excited about this colorful basket bell toys my sister brought home for me from Nicaragua!

Love this jumpsuit, but hate the slit in the back.  Argh!

I’d like to make this burger. It’s a simple recipe, but it seems the addition of fish sauce may add some depth to it.

Ben ordered me Saturate by Jeff Vanderstelt. He’s listening to the audio version, and he knows I still love having the actual book in my hand.

This Instagram post by Jess Connolly really resonated with my heart… “This is it. This is life. One shot. To worship and love and laugh and be poured out for the Kingdom.”

I think vintage 1970’s necklace is pretty.

The two big girls had their second piano recital for the year and they nailed their pieces. They have a theatre performance this week, and we are almost at the end of the school year and ready to chill out for a bit.

Thankful for the reminder that God loves me with no strings attached. I need to remember to respond with grace when my children mess up, just as God does the same with me.

Sometimes my face expresses contempt, and I’m not talking about this not smiling type, but the “I’m-so-frustrated-and-mad-at-everybody” type. Two days this week I expressed that same contemptuousness; rather, my heart held onto it. There was a lot of not listening, disobedience, and broken things by the girls, which isn’t unusual considering they’re kids, but all of that put my heart in the wrong place. Actually, now that I’m looking back upon it, my heart was in the wrong place to begin with and it’s not their fault at all. My heart loves material things and having obedient children too much, and when those things are shattered, my heart crumbles. That’s because my hope isn’t meant to be put in those things and those things aren’t meant to last. I know earthly goods really are just a bunch of crap, I know I can’t take them with me when I die, but in that moment, I treasured it (more like hoarded it) in my heart. And kids, well, they don’t listen all the time, just like I don’t, and I’m constantly battling and praying for more patience. I even read this verse earlier this week… Proverbs 16:22 “Patience is better than power, and controlling one’s temper, than capturing a city.”

Thankfully, my story doesn’t stop there. I didn’t stay in my state of selfishness forever. Repentance happened, forgiveness happened, and I’m not defined by what I’ve done (or failed at doing, I even yelled “I suck at being a mom.”) because Jesus is my righteousness. Yeah, I’m a total screw up, but that’s why I know I need Jesus. He lived the life I should have lived, and died the death I deserved, and while I still screw up a lot (and will continue to), He covers all my screw ups with his blood. This probably sounds like the #storyofmylife over here, but it really is. My heart still wrestles with understanding grace and the cross, but each day, even through the screw-ups, God is giving me a clearer picture of what living a life of grace looks like… it’s never about me, it’s always about Jesus. When it becomes about me, that’s when trouble always starts, so I’m praying that my heart keeps battling to make it about Jesus. #endheartrant