Hello! I’m not sure who still tunes in here from time to time. There’s something from IG that feels like it’s missing and I think it’s the heart that I feel blogs carried. Many times, I start to write a really long caption on instagram, but only to press delete, delete, delete. Something feels off to share there; it’s not quite the same as it was when sharing to this online space years ago.
Instagram has become entertainment. I’m definitely not good at entertaining there, nor do I like the pressure to entertain there. I like taking pictures. I like editing. I like looking at pretty pictures. I like sharing pretty pictures. I love getting home decor and fashion ideas. But it’s not a place that feels natural to share myheart as much as I did on my blog years ago. Blogs in its infancy were messy, raw, people in progress, but then it got really glossy and commercialized and then something got lost after that. The people all become professional.
I’m thankful for this space and the opportunities it afforded me and my family. The connections I’ve made and the things I’ve been able to do because of it. But when everyone got so glossy, something got lost for me. Maybe I just couldn’t keep up. This started as a means to document my beginning journey of motherhood, which I’m now 15 years in, as well as my foray into sewing, and all the other creative things I liked to do at that time. It was fun until it wasn’t. And popping in here and there was nice, but lately, I miss just writing to write and reflect.
So I don’t know how often I’ll pop in, but we’ll see. I’ve worn a lot of hats since the beginning of those blogging days, but at the end, when I think about what I want to do with my life… it comes down to sharing my messy heart and using that to help others love Jesus. Because we are all a mess. We are all people in progress. And as one who has been redeemed by Christ, that process for me is called sanctification.
I’ve wanted to talk about the language of adoption, open adoption, depression, and the challenges that’s brought for our marriage, church life, friendships, conflict, dislike for particular roles in life, raising teens, feeling like I screwed up my kids (but I think all parents do screw up their kids to some degree, but we’re all trying the best we know how, with what we know at the time), moving, and the list goes on. But then I go to write something on ig and it doesn’t come out as easily as it does with a keyboard at my hands. And I’ve started post to write here and there, but never get around to pressing publish.
Anyway, all that to say, “Hello again.”
We are on the start of a new season for our family. We sold the home we lived in and loved for 14 years to be closer to church family. It does bring us a little closer to my parents too, and it also gives us a space to be able to have my parents (or Ben’s mom) in a separate back house should the need for that ever arise. But it’s not a particularly cute house at the moment, and it needs a lot of work, but I can’t wait until we can make it our home home.
We’re living with my parents while we make house plans, wait for permits, find a contractor, and initially, I thought we’d be closer to to being done by the end of summer (we got the keys May 19), but we haven’t even started. I know it will happen all in God’s good time, and he will provide the right contractor, and praying it all fits in the budget. But I know how it all ends up, is what is meant to be, and I’m excited still! A little nervous for the bumps that will come up, but still thankful and excited.
I guess house renovating is a lot like life… you never know what will pop up, and when something does, you deal with it, and for me as a Christian, with as much joy and thankfulness as I rely on God to carry me, and then you keep moving forward until the house is done.
If you’re still popping in here too, do say hello in the comments below!