August 10, 2021

Hello! I’m not sure who still tunes in here from time to time. There’s something from IG that feels like it’s missing and I think it’s the heart that I feel blogs carried. Many times, I start to write a really long caption on instagram, but only to press delete, delete, delete. Something feels off to share there; it’s not quite the same as it was when sharing to this online space years ago.

Instagram has become entertainment. I’m definitely not good at entertaining there, nor do I like the pressure to entertain there. I like taking pictures. I like editing. I like looking at pretty pictures. I like sharing pretty pictures. I love getting home decor and fashion ideas. But it’s not a place that feels natural to share myheart as much as I did on my blog years ago. Blogs in its infancy were messy, raw, people in progress, but then it got really glossy and commercialized and then something got lost after that. The people all become professional.

I’m thankful for this space and the opportunities it afforded me and my family. The connections I’ve made and the things I’ve been able to do because of it. But when everyone got so glossy, something got lost for me. Maybe I just couldn’t keep up. This started as a means to document my beginning journey of motherhood, which I’m now 15 years in, as well as my foray into sewing, and all the other creative things I liked to do at that time. It was fun until it wasn’t. And popping in here and there was nice, but lately, I miss just writing to write and reflect.

So I don’t know how often I’ll pop in, but we’ll see. I’ve worn a lot of hats since the beginning of those blogging days, but at the end, when I think about what I want to do with my life… it comes down to sharing my messy heart and using that to help others love Jesus. Because we are all a mess. We are all people in progress. And as one who has been redeemed by Christ, that process for me is called sanctification.

I’ve wanted to talk about the language of adoption, open adoption, depression, and the challenges that’s brought for our marriage, church life, friendships, conflict, dislike for particular roles in life, raising teens, feeling like I screwed up my kids (but I think all parents do screw up their kids to some degree, but we’re all trying the best we know how, with what we know at the time), moving, and the list goes on. But then I go to write something on ig and it doesn’t come out as easily as it does with a keyboard at my hands. And I’ve started post to write here and there, but never get around to pressing publish.

Anyway, all that to say, “Hello again.”

We are on the start of a new season for our family. We sold the home we lived in and loved for 14 years to be closer to church family. It does bring us a little closer to my parents too, and it also gives us a space to be able to have my parents (or Ben’s mom) in a separate back house should the need for that ever arise. But it’s not a particularly cute house at the moment, and it needs a lot of work, but I can’t wait until we can make it our home home.

We’re living with my parents while we make house plans, wait for permits, find a contractor, and initially, I thought we’d be closer to to being done by the end of summer (we got the keys May 19), but we haven’t even started. I know it will happen all in God’s good time, and he will provide the right contractor, and praying it all fits in the budget. But I know how it all ends up, is what is meant to be, and I’m excited still! A little nervous for the bumps that will come up, but still thankful and excited.

I guess house renovating is a lot like life… you never know what will pop up, and when something does, you deal with it, and for me as a Christian, with as much joy and thankfulness as I rely on God to carry me, and then you keep moving forward until the house is done.

If you’re still popping in here too, do say hello in the comments below!

24 comments on “HELLO AGAIN”

  • Emily says:

    It’s good to have you back here. I agree about blogs vs Instagram – I miss the conversation.

  • rubyellen says:

    Me too. I want to start it again. I really miss it.

  • Christine says:

    hello!! still here, and here for the reflective writing!

  • Karen says:

    Reader here! Your blog still funnels through my rss reader (Feedly). Crazy to think that I’ve followed you since your older girls were born (first heard of hypnobirthing from you!). I always appreciate bloggers returning to long form, since there’s only so much that can be said in an instagram caption, and I’m always appreciative of your honesty and creativity shared in this space!

  • Heather says:

    Always read your posts here still via my blog reader app and I totally agree, I miss the written reflection and photo freedom of blogs (mine and others).

  • Virginia says:

    I would love to hear about all of those things you mentioned. I have always loved your blog. I don’t do insta and I’ve missed your posts here. My oldest is the same age as Glow and I’ve been reading since they were about 6 months old.

  • Daniela says:

    So lovely to see you still posting. I miss blogs too, there’s a certain level of intimacy (for lack of a better word) that a blog post will have that isn’t conveyed in an instagram post. I think they are meant to be something that only takes a few minutes of your time whereas a blog post can go on and it doesn’t feel like 10min have passed at all. I hope you continue to post more on your blog. <3

  • Ali Pedersen says:

    oh my goodness, I totally agree about things feeling “glossy” these days. I miss the good ol days of blogging. I have been reading your blog since right around 2008 or 2009 when you just had 2 little bitty gals 🙂 I remember I got pregnant with our first little girl in 2010 and miscarried and to be quite honest your blog and watching your with your girls gave me so much joy and hope. Now we have 4 girls! They are 9, 8, almost 7 and almost 4. I do your fun art projects with them and it just feels so lovely 🙂 thank you for your presence in this space for such an extended period of time. You have probably impacted many other people the way you have impacted me, without even knowing it. <3 Had to throw in a nice little old school heart "emoji" for good measure!

  • gigi says:

    Still logging in and looking forward to your stories again about your lives and the home you are creating.

  • Vanessa says:

    Yes at all of the above!! Instagram just isn’t sparking joy these days, I miss the connection and community building in the old days of blogs. I started reading the blog back in 2012! Happy to read whatever your heart inspires you to post 🙂

  • Kimberly says:

    I’ve so enjoyed following along on your blog for I don’t know how many years now. As someone who loves to hear people’s heart expressed through writing, I look forward to what you will share here when the time feels right for you. I completely agree with what you said about IG, I’ve felt that way as well. Especially after reading the book, Here Now, it kind of shifted my perspective. Anyhow, thanks for what you shared and good luck on the renovation home front – we lived with my parents for 14mo while we made our house livable and 8 years after moving in we are still slowly chipping away at projects that we envisioned for the space.

  • Margaret Borden says:

    Have loved following your blog over the (many) years and have missed it. Haven’t been checking blogs myself so not sure what made me come look here. Hope you will be back more often! Sending love & thanks from NYC.

  • Rubyellen says:

    yay! it feels good to just journal here again. my writing feels rough having not done it for awhile, but it feels good.

  • Rubyellen says:

    Awwww!!! Thank you for still following along! I can’t believe Glow is going to be 10 this year!!!! WAHHH TOO FAST!

  • Rubyellen says:

    I totally agree!

  • JudyBB says:

    I’m a reader so I enjoy blogs. Yours is a good one and I’ve missed the updates. Enjoy the new school year – you all will do great things!

  • roseroomnz says:

    Lovely to see you post! I’ve followed you for years, back to when you had only one or two babies! Also a blogger and stopped for the same reasons as you and feel the same as you about Instagram. All of us that are old school bloggers should bring our blogs back to life! Authentic, real and raw! xoxo

  • andrea says:

    so happy you are back here. love this space so much more than the hectic, superficial instagram! your posts were always so inspirational!

  • Justina says:

    Welcome back, so happy you’re still writing. I found your blog in the early days when it was just 3 kids and way before I became a mom myself and I still pop in from time to time. There aren’t many place on the internet I felt had the authenticity and heart I felt on your blog, so I’m really glad you’re still posting 🙂 Love from Malaysia

  • Kathryn says:

    Yours is my favourite blog! Thank you for sharing your struggles and for leading it back to God always!

  • Sherri says:

    I really like your blog and am glad you’re posting again. Your honesty and willingness to share Jesus appeals hugely to me. Thanks for not pretending to be perfect- I think deep down we just know ppl aren’t perfect anyhow and there’s an intuitive distrust of anyone who seems too much so. Thanks for showing a creative, thoughtful and godly life! Love to read ur blogposts❤️

  • Valerie says:

    Long time reader, here, too! It’s lovely that you’re back. I’m going back to blogging for the EXACT same reason. Craving those old days of real, simplicity online. I’m happy you’re back!

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  • Rebekkah says:

    Hello again! I was just reading through my own blog posts from 10 years ago and came across that sunbutter cookie recipe you posted wayyy back in the day. You have articulated exactly what I was feeling today … about the way blogging used to feel when the spaces weren’t as glossy and commercialized. I’m glad to see that you and Ben and the girls are well, and continuing to experience God’s faithfulness! I have appreciated your contribution to blog culture over the many years… and that sunbutter chocolate chip cookie recipe, ha!

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