On the cusp of a new decade and I’m ready to step into my 40’s with joy and excitement. There’s no trepidation in my heart, no fear of the number, but more excitement to see what the Lord will do in this next decade. When I turned 30, I had just had Glow a couple months prior. I had 4 kids in 5 and a half years, and was done with having kids when I hit 30 (or so I thought). We were going to church in LA and driving about an hour each way. No one lived near us, I was about to start writing my book, and I just started homeschooling True for kindergarten. I was busy crafting, sewing, writing, blogging, and Ben was busy in the garden (and I also remember many mornings praying and asking God to grow Ben). I also felt like I was drowning and barely keeping my head above water with 4 kids all under 5, but that was life. My hands were super full, but so was my heart (when I wasn’t having a mommy meltdown).
Now, stepping into my 40’s, I have 5 kids. Unbeknownst to me (at that time), we’d have one more girl, but this time via adoption. We no longer live in our house, and once we officially move into our (new to us) house, we’ll have so many friends and family near us. We won’t be driving to church much longer (Lord willing) and will just have to walk down the street to gather with church fam. I’m still homeschooling, but I have 2 kids in high school now (that kindergartner is now a sophomore, and so is Brave). I’m still crafting and sewing, though it is a wee bit difficult to do at my parents’ house since there isn’t much space, but I’m also been running a vintage clothing shop for a few years now too. Ben has no garden to work on because just as we about completed our garden, we sold our house. Lord willing, once we move in and settle in, the garden planning will commence, but his time he spent in the garden dramatically lessened several years ago when he started spending more time in God’s word and with the church, which was an answer to a prayer I had been praying a decade ago. And now, he’s in pastoral ministry, which is never something either of us would have imagined. I still feel super busy, but I have 4 very responsible big kids, who help with so much. Ben and I couldn’t be involved in all we’re involved with, if it weren’t for their help.
The decade has brought its share of trials, but as I look back and remember some of them, I also see how God used those specific trials to grow us. No trial is ever wasted. While never comfortable, and I remember when in the thick of some of them, just weeping and not imagining a way out out times, but God always delivers. The story he writes for our lives, is always better than one we could write ourselves. One of the lessons that stands out from this past decade is… hold your plans loosely as you trust the Lord to continue to direct your path.
There’s so much I look forward to. I’m excited about continuing to grow the friendship with my girls as they grow older, and step into teen years and adulthood. We look forward to more ministry and time spent with church family. I look forward to hanging out with my parents when they retire. And in a few years, I start homeschooling all over again with Red.
Goodbye 30’s! You had some not so awesome moments, but I wouldn’t change it because in those hard moments, God did some deep work that deepened my joy in Christ! Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!